HOW DO I FORGIVE MYSELF??

I don't have any books or videos to recommend, because when I was going through what you're going through, I was poor a/f and buying books and videos were out of the question. You didn't mention the religion you follow, but I'm guessing you're a Christian. In the Christian religion, God is a loving god who is forgiving, correct? If God loves and forgives you, why don't you love and forgive you? Anyhow, in my experience, forgiving people takes time and practice. That includes forgiving yourself. Don't expect to be able to forgive yourself right away. Don't cause yourself to feel even more guilty just because you can't forgive right away. That exasperates the situation. You do have a good heart, otherwise you wouldn't have realized your wrong and stopped. Just gently remind yourself anytime you catch yourself feeling bad, that this part of you is behind you now and things are different. You've grown and learned. That's a good thing. See the good in yourself. If you look at all of yourself objectively and not just focus on the negative past, that can help a lot.

yeah you dont just ask for forgiveness... you earn it. go apologize where possible and do some good in the world. dont worry about asking god for anything, just live good and what could he possibly dislike about that (if he existed which he does not)

Instead of reaching out to God, try reaching out to those you've hurt. Those are the only people who should get a say in whether or not you deserve forgiveness.

read the following article I think it will encourage you.
https://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/return-to-jehovah/forgiveness-of-sin/#?

It's hard to escape it isnt it? I think Jesus and his philosophy would help you the most.

Well for Peter the guy who commented. Please read some scripture before you rant. You are quoting the Old Testament not the New Testament. The New Testament Jesus comes and brings new laws and ideas minus the one you described. You are talking about the Old Testament which christians don't go by. Its the old law that was replaced by Jesus. So before you make a comment make sure you have more than 2 cents worth to share.

"HOW DO I FORGIVE MYSELF??"

First, ask for forgiveness from the people whom you've wronged.

You can't do anything else until you do that first. Anything else is disingenuous and false. It is a cop out to ask for forgiveness from invisible cult creatures or looking for answers in silly, mythical, bronze-age cult books thinking they will give you absolution -- it's meaningless and disingenuous. You must have the Courage, Integrity, Courtesy and Fidelity to go to the people whom you've wronged and ask THEM for forgiveness. Why would you do anything else if you are looking to truly unburden what you are feeling?

The people who tell you to hand-mumble to a cult creature and ask for forgiveness, are the True Cowards in life who hide behind that all the time -- and are the people who would NEVER have the Courage or the Fidelity to actually ask the people they've wronged for forgiveness. They take the easy way out -- because they don't have a conscience.

you have to let go of the things you did in the past and seek to do good

How about you try reaching out to the people you've hurt ?

you could abandon your humanity and ignore your failures.....like Christians do...

Nothing works accept your making a sincere covenant with the Father that you will always obey all of Jesus' sayings .

God will forgive anyone who receives His free gift of salvation through faith in Him :)

The moment you trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior, the Bible teaches you are forgiven of all sins (past, present, and future). This is what many theologians call "positional forgiveness." After you trust in Jesus Christ to save you, your salvation is secure no matter what. However, that does not mean you will never sin again. Each time you sin as a believer, you are acting out of your old sinful nature and not the new nature that you received when you were born again through faith in Christ. This puts you out of fellowship with God. In order to be put back into fellowship, the Bible teaches you must simply confess your sins to God and you are immediately forgiven (1 John 1:9). To confess simply means to "agree with God" that you have sinned and trust in His blood to cleanse you. It's important not to confuse positional and fellowship forgiveness, because a lot of people who confuse these terms end up believing salvation can be lost which is absolutely contrary to the Bible. Please understand that all who trust in Christ alone to save them are eternally secure no matter what (John 10:27-30)!

Knowing for sure that you have eternal life is the single most important issue in life. All people are separated from God by a sin barrier that no human effort can overcome (Isa. 64:6; Rom. 3:10, 12, 23). All human beings are born without spiritual life (Eph. 2:1). That is why Jesus Christ, who is eternal God Himself, came in human flesh so that He could suffer and die in our place - as our substitute - on the cross of Calvary. He died on the cross to pay our sin debt in FULL and rose again (1 Cor. 15:3-4). When we believe in Jesus Christ for our eternal life He has promised to give it to us:

"Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life" (John 6:47).

"Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life" (John 5:24).

To "believe" is simply to be convinced that it is true (Rom. 4:21) that you cannot in any way contribute to your own salvation and instead you trust Jesus alone to give you that life freely - a gift of unconditional eternal life. It means to believe His promise to give eternal life to all who believe in Him for that life. It really is that simple!

The Gospel of John is the only book written for the sole purpose of showing people how they can have eternal life (see John 20:30-31) and it mentions the word "believe" as the sole condition 98 times!

This link helped me when I was struggling with my salvation: http://faithalone.org/tracts/ycbs.html

Also, see the book "How to Forgive Ourselves Totally" by RT Kendall. I believe this will help you tremendously. You can also watch him preach the sermon here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abnkWjho2Ds

We can't forgive ourselves; we need the help of men who are specially trained and ordained to forgive our sins and absolve us with the authority of Jesus. In John 20:23, Jesus told his disciples, "Any to whom you give forgiveness, will be made free from their sins; and any from whom you keep back forgiveness, will still be in their sins."

God's forgiveness is available after taking instructions at your local Catholic Church, where an ordained priest can hear your sincere confession and absolve you of your sins.

Like anything good in life you have to work at it.

You need to stop doing those horrible things and stop hurting other people as a start.

Every morning say to yourself I forgive myself today is a new day and do your best in that new day

Consider studying the bible and consulting a minister of religion - Christianity is all about forgiveness and changing for the better with Gods help