有關英文作文的問題

Cindy went to Apple Hospital and intended to write a report about it on 22nd February 2014. Then she arrived there at 2:30pm. It was built by three tall buildings and each of them had forty storeys with different kinds of medical units. She started to write the report at 2:45pm and then a traffic accident happened outside the school nearby while she still continued writing. At last, she finished that writing at 4:00pm.

好野，雅虎知識+英文分類俾你玩殘晒。

Cindy went to the Apple Hospital to write a report on 22nd February 2014. She arrived at the hospital at 2:30pm. The hospital was composed of three tall buildings. There were forty storeys and different kinds of branches in the hospital. She started to write the report at 2:45pm and when a traffic accident happened outside the school, she was still writing the report. She finished writing the report when it was 4:00pm.

I think it is right.