好急~穩錯處,英文高手請進

Below is a rised letter written in formal and simple English :
To : Mrs.lee at lee.mingming.com.hk
From : [email protected]
Subject : Enquiry about Slimming Packages
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date : (ddmmyy)
Ming Ming Slimming Centre,
(Address)

Dear Sir/Madam,
As I am going to lose my weight, will you please provide me the the following information about your slimming packages ?
1. What is your charge per slim package ?
2. How much weight can be lost after one month's slimming treatment?
3. Do you give me suggestions on my daily drinking and eating after admission?
4. Will I enjoy speedy slimming effectiveness without going on a diet?
5. Is refund guarantee available for having no success of slimming?
In addition, please inform me of your website because I would like to know more about your company.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,
(Your Name)

To:Mrs.lee at lee.mingming.com.hk
From:[email protected].
Keep fit program inquiry
To whom it may concern,
呢度有空格架 I like to more information about the keep fit program currently being offered in you centers. How much does it cost? What kinds of food will I be expected to consume daily? How much weight is expected to be lost in one month? Does your company have a website if so what is it?Do you have money back guarantee?How quick will I see the benefits without feeling hungry?.
你的回答
(最多4000字)

Don't use 'keep fit project'

You should use 'fitness program' or fitness lesson'

To:Mrs.lee at lee.mingming.com.hk
From:[email protected].
I have some questions
Dear Ming Ming, the Slimming Centre's representative
I am writting to ask you about the keep fit course. firslt. could you tell me the fee of the cousre.secondlly, what kinds of daily food do I eat during the course? and how much weight will i lose when i have completed the cousre? finally. do i have refund guaranteed if i am not benefited by the course.
in addition, i would like to know more about your company. could you advice me of your company website.
i look forwards to hearing from you soon

yours sincerely



.
.
P.S 呢據唔明你想講什麼-->How quick results without feeling hungry?.

To:Mrs.lee at lee.mingming.com.hk
From:[email protected].
I have some questions
Dear Ming Ming Slimming Centre presents,
I want to ask you.(*1)If I join the keep fit project(*6),how much money I should pay?And(*2),If I join it what kinds of food to eat one day?If I join it a month,how much weight I am loss(*3)?What is the everything about(*4)?What is your combomy wetpage(*5)?Do you have money back guarantee?How quick results without feeling hungry?.



解答:
*1:用want其實係好無禮貌 轉做 May i ask you.......
*2:就咁一個and好肉酸 轉做 And how about........
*3:呢個唔你大問題,只不過可以今文章通順D 轉做 how much weight can i loss if i join your project one month?
*4:are the project includ other things?for example,some sports or i only can it little...
*5:你想問公司的網址嗎? 轉做 where is your company website?
*6:你應該註明係邊個keep fit project..

全篇轉晒應該係

To:Mrs.lee at lee.mingming.com.hk
From:[email protected].
I have some questions
Dear Ming Ming Slimming Centre presents,
May i ask you few questions?If I join the keep fit project(指明係邊個keep project),how much money should I pay?And how about If I join it,what kinds of food to eat one day?How much weight can i loss if i join your project one month?
?Are the project includ other things?For example,some sports or i can only eat little a day...?Where is your company website?Do you have money back guarantee?How quick results without feeling hungry?.



應該ok的啦....

文法錯誤
What is " wetpage"