有沒有人可以幫我改一改文法&改通順一點??(英文好的請進)

Furthermore, one thing I am concerned more about is that I don' t have service practice at SHMS as I performed /took before because of my direct admission to the 3rd year' s programme . It seems to someone that these tasks may be difficult/It seems that someone may find these tasks difficult to do . However, I had gotten the same service experience as I worked in the catering department of Lonsdate Quay Hotel in Vancouver . I would take my service seriously like those tasks mentioned . The staff teach me how to provide French-style service for the French customers in a right way and the lanaguage of French. After training , I have improved my service skills and French .

Furthermore , it' s my pride that I need not taking service practice at SHMS because I am admitted direct to study the 3rd year' s program . To some students , this kind of tasks seem difficult . However, I got rich experience of services after having worked in catering department of Lonsdale Quay Hotel in Vancouver for xxx years . Even though I am well -qualified for the job requirements , I will take the job seriously . The staff help me to work out and teach me various skills for the French service style . After learning and training, I have improved speaking French and service skills .

Hope this helps !

Furthermore, I never had practice on 'Customer Serving' at SHMS because of being a 3rd year direct-entry student. However I did gain similar experience when I worked in the catering department of Lonsdale Quay Hotel in Vancouver. I was taught how to serve in French style professionally and my communication skills in french has improved a lot. Despite my vast experience in the catering industry, I will maintain my humble attitude and continue to serve customers in a professional manner.

my comments:
is this for a job application? if it is, i'd suggest that you to keep your story positive and be concise. focus on what you can do and what you have achieved to impress the reader. don't mention anything that you are worried about or can't do (as they're not going to help).
you also do not have to talk about how your colleagues treated you and assisted you, the reader does not need to know all these, he/she wants to know more about YOU.

hope this helps

Furthermore, One thing I'm more concerned is that I entried 3rd year directly from (1st year)? that I haven't serve at SHMS before. Therefore, I might come across with difficulties when doing some of the tasks. However, I do have similar experience when I was in catering department of Londsdale Quay Hotel Vancouer. Even so, I will serve carefully (if I have a chance to serve here?) . Some of my colleagues I've worked with before assisted me to work it out and explained to me how to serve in French style correctly.