I don't know how to convey my feelings. What I can put down is that I feel nothing. No motivation for anything, no desire, no passion, and lack of emotion. Most days, I feel completely empty inside. A hollowed out shell. Sometimes I feel like I'm just existing. Rolling out of bed each day and tumbling through the motions. Having a job is taxing. I personally feel I do my best, but for some reason, I keep running into the same wall where I'm being told I'm doing stuff incorrectly, and they're always the smallest errors or something that needs time to perfect. A good half of my week is spent working so it's nearly impossible to "leave work at work" and I find myself dragging home, completely drained and wonder why I even bother trying? I have longed for a job that feels like a second home for me, but I keep finding myself in the same predicament and I'm not sure if that's a character flaw on my end, must be if it keeps reoccurring, right?
I should probably seek professional help, but honestly, I don't even know how to ask for help. I don't know where to go, who to turn to, etc. I literally just feel nothing about everything. If I weren't married, I think I would have given up a long time ago, but my husband is honestly the only person who keeps me moving. But it's like I'm functioning because I fear letting him down rather than I'm functioning because I have a purpose each day. I am merely existing.
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If anyone can answer this, i'd be really grateful...