Should I accept this behavior from my boyfriend ? ?
2021-04-12 9:48 pm
So last weekend I had a bday celebration for my birthday at my house....I had invited my boyfriend Of two years... he always working out of town and a lot of hours. So the times I do spend time with him are only on the weekends. Well that weekend was my celebration party.... my bf came down and I had told him prior about the party. Well that day came, I didn’t hear from my boyfriend. I kept on calling him to see what time was he coming but no I didn’t hear from him all day.. what made it worse was that I had told my family he was coming and they kept on asking me so I felt so embarrassed coz it was already late... well I was so sad! Anyways the next morning he called me telling me that he was sooooo sorry and that he was asleep all day long at home and he lost track of time.....I accepted this apology however he didn’t even think of stopping by at my house to just see me since he was already going to leave out of town to work agian.
回答 (40)
2021-04-14 12:06 am
He may have been with another woman... I don't believe he slept all day and didn't even call or show. What type of relationship is this. I would want to give him his walking papers.
2021-04-14 2:52 am
I think he's a douchebag and you deserve better. He knew for weeks in advance when your birthday was and he didn't make you a priority because he sucks and he's not a good boyfriend. You deserve better than someone who gives pathetic excuses and has poor time management skills. If i were you i would dump him he doesn't sound trustworthy anyways or reliable.
2021-04-12 9:58 pm
Maybe he was telling the truth about falling to sleep. I can't say but i will say that, if he's always flaking out, i wouldn't put up with that. Plus i think he could have called when he got home to apologize and tell you that he wasn't going to make it because he was exhausted, or whatever. But he didn't.
2021-04-14 1:21 am
"He fell asleep and lost track of time"...
I'm sorry but that is a pathetic excuse for a lie.
If it was his birthday or if you had something or somewhere important to be would you go to bed and lose track of time or would it be a priority for you to be there?
I'm sorry but that is a pathetic excuse for a lie.
If it was his birthday or if you had something or somewhere important to be would you go to bed and lose track of time or would it be a priority for you to be there?
2021-04-13 9:18 pm
I wouldn't accept that behavior at all. How does he forget your BD? That and the fact that not only he didn't plan a party, get together, a date night out for your Birthday, or even giving you a card or a gift is NOT okay.
You've been with him 2 years and he still hasn't met your family?!
Plus his always working out of town, you kept trying to call him and he couldn't be reached....all of these are major flags. He is very inconsiderate to say the least, and I really think he is seeing someone else. I'd ghost him and find someone who is considerate, a non cheater and honest. God luck.
You've been with him 2 years and he still hasn't met your family?!
Plus his always working out of town, you kept trying to call him and he couldn't be reached....all of these are major flags. He is very inconsiderate to say the least, and I really think he is seeing someone else. I'd ghost him and find someone who is considerate, a non cheater and honest. God luck.
2021-04-14 1:59 am
No, I highly doubt he missed all of your calls for the whole day.
Someone who views you as a priority makes time for you even when they have none and will sacrifice sleep and time for their self.
My husband is a Cardiologist who works a good 70+ hours a week. He still makes time for me even when he has none to himself. He doesn't blow of my birthday or things that might be important to me. He knows that like most people my birthday is the same date every year and the weekend before/after if we have plans for it he will make sure he's not working then. Worse case scenario is he'd have another physician cover his on call for a few hours so he could take me to dinner at least (but in all likelihood I'd just forgo it at that point or do something a different day). He could work 14 hours and be exhausted from work but he will still sacrifice the sleep to listen to me complain or vent something even if the problem is him and even if there's absolutely nothing he can do or offer the situation. Say he had plans with me and then a friend of his would be in town for something and want to catch up with him.. he will tell them no. He's never cancelled plans with me for someone or something else. He was also like this when we were dating. Aside from his job, he puts me before anything and anyone.
By the way, I do all of that for him too.
Be with someone who makes you their priority .. not an option. You're the main course, not a side dish.
Someone who views you as a priority makes time for you even when they have none and will sacrifice sleep and time for their self.
My husband is a Cardiologist who works a good 70+ hours a week. He still makes time for me even when he has none to himself. He doesn't blow of my birthday or things that might be important to me. He knows that like most people my birthday is the same date every year and the weekend before/after if we have plans for it he will make sure he's not working then. Worse case scenario is he'd have another physician cover his on call for a few hours so he could take me to dinner at least (but in all likelihood I'd just forgo it at that point or do something a different day). He could work 14 hours and be exhausted from work but he will still sacrifice the sleep to listen to me complain or vent something even if the problem is him and even if there's absolutely nothing he can do or offer the situation. Say he had plans with me and then a friend of his would be in town for something and want to catch up with him.. he will tell them no. He's never cancelled plans with me for someone or something else. He was also like this when we were dating. Aside from his job, he puts me before anything and anyone.
By the way, I do all of that for him too.
Be with someone who makes you their priority .. not an option. You're the main course, not a side dish.
2021-04-13 10:52 pm
He's probably screwing around on you! I am sure that this scenario is easier to imagine now that he forgot your bday!
2021-04-12 10:37 pm
my god he fell asleep.. what's next he breathed incorrectly?
2021-04-15 4:46 am
His behaviour and your criticism of him to strangers suggests that you are barely compatible.
Maybe time to call it a day
Maybe time to call it a day
2021-04-12 9:57 pm
"Sleeping all day at home" sounds like a crock of s***. He didn't want to come or he was coming with another girlfriend.
2021-04-12 9:57 pm
Red flag, or he has social anxiety. I would tell him that your parents want to meet him and when can they do that. Tell you parents about the day of planning but also tell them not to show. The reason is you want to set up another meet day with your parents but the main objective is to see if your boyfriend follows through. For example you set up a weekend day for him to meet your parents, you however know your parents aren’t coming. If he backs out again dump him. I think it’s BS that he overslept and missed your party. My guess is his dating someone else or he has social anxiety. Good luck
2021-04-12 10:05 pm
Eh, If I were you I'll be kinda disappointed but as long as he still loves me then its good.
its up to you to accept it or not. Are you okay to live like this in a long run? Is he worth tolerating for?
its up to you to accept it or not. Are you okay to live like this in a long run? Is he worth tolerating for?
2021-04-17 1:10 am
Some people only do what they want to do. He doesn’t care enough about you to show up at your party. It’s lame excuse and you bought it. Do yourself a favor and move on.
2021-04-15 3:12 pm
Well look who is talking? Girls do it all the time. They simply stop replying and cause silly mistakes and other accidents.
2021-04-15 2:06 pm
Even if he was telling the truth about he being tired, do you think that is the attitude of a man in love? Does that tell you how important you are to him? what you mean to him? he is trying to explain with apples what he should be proving you with BALLS, should you accept his apology? I'd say yes, but that's up to you, however what you should NOT accept is to be with someone like that if he shows this interest in you while you are still bf and gf, can you imagine how he will be if you two get married?
2021-04-14 3:18 am
Get to the truth, then make a decision.
2021-04-15 1:21 am
Janet's answer is good wisdom for long term relationships, but I don't know that your bf has earned that level of commitment yet from you.
To be honest, when I read your post, I thought he was more likely with someone else than asleep. Of course, I don't know that. You know better than we do whether he's a keeper, so you will have to make a decision, and then live with the consequences.
To be honest, when I read your post, I thought he was more likely with someone else than asleep. Of course, I don't know that. You know better than we do whether he's a keeper, so you will have to make a decision, and then live with the consequences.
2021-04-14 3:47 am
Its hard to judge, since we don't know if this is his pattern, vs. an isolated incident. But,from the limited information, it sounds as if he is working pretty hard, can be forgetful, was just plain dog tired!
I wouldn't hold it too much against him, unless this is a repeat pattern over time. He coulda, shoulda, at least called or contacted you to let you know what was going on. Some people, especially guys, aren't always thoughtful enough. He did know in advance, so why was he working then? Perhaps he needs the job, the money, ...so he can buy you a birthday gift ! I like what someone said, that you should be a "main course" rather than a "side dish"! But guys in general aren't often as hot about birthdays, celebrating holidays, remembering stuff like that , compared to gals. Its also possible that he was making up an excuse, to either cover something or someone else he was busy with, or perhaps he hates birthdays and other celebrations, hard to know from here.
I wouldn't hold it too much against him, unless this is a repeat pattern over time. He coulda, shoulda, at least called or contacted you to let you know what was going on. Some people, especially guys, aren't always thoughtful enough. He did know in advance, so why was he working then? Perhaps he needs the job, the money, ...so he can buy you a birthday gift ! I like what someone said, that you should be a "main course" rather than a "side dish"! But guys in general aren't often as hot about birthdays, celebrating holidays, remembering stuff like that , compared to gals. Its also possible that he was making up an excuse, to either cover something or someone else he was busy with, or perhaps he hates birthdays and other celebrations, hard to know from here.
2021-04-13 9:39 pm
It seems obvious from the way he is acting that you have not fulfilled his expectations from this relationship. Have you thought about making him more sandwiches? Backrubs? Maybe providing him with something unexpected in the bedroom?
2021-04-13 4:32 am
He was probably tired. He probably has a busy schedule and found time to rest for a few hours
2021-04-17 10:44 pm
Okay, so no this is not acceptable behavior. If he knew this special event was coming and only makes the effort and has time only for the weekend to see you, I’m sorry to say this but he doesn’t like you very much. Almost like avoiding you or is doing something behind your back that you aren’t aware of. If you have mutual friends that know him or hangs out with, try asking if he’s out while you’re always waiting to hang out only on the weekends. He may be the most handsome or sweetest when u see him, but when a man wants to he will. I know this sounds harsh but he could atleast come to see you during the week atleast for 2-3 hours out of his day. Time flies and I’m sure he can make time. I wish you the best of luck hun. If you find something or you feel like something is off, listen to your gut. Take care
2021-04-17 7:22 am
You cannot possibly be so naive...or can you?
Girl, if this and the other red flags do not slap you in the face, than you are one humungous fool.
if you accept the lonliness and the lies, then don't complain.
No one is ever going to respect you until you begin respecting yourself.
Stop wasting your VALUABLE life on that loser.
You deserve to be treated better, that's for damn sure.
Girl, if this and the other red flags do not slap you in the face, than you are one humungous fool.
if you accept the lonliness and the lies, then don't complain.
No one is ever going to respect you until you begin respecting yourself.
Stop wasting your VALUABLE life on that loser.
You deserve to be treated better, that's for damn sure.
2021-04-16 5:40 pm
How many times has he falled to celebrate your birthday?
2021-04-16 7:42 am
It seems like he didn't want to be there for your b'day celebration. I don't know all the details, but it's definitely something you need to discuss with him.
2021-04-16 5:29 am
Does he always do that to you? If he does that often, then he’s not a good boyfriend
2021-04-15 9:13 pm
Honestly if your boyfriend really cared about you he would of took the effort to show up/ Or at least call to give you a reason...there are other things that you would know and we don't...is he socially anxious? does he have anxiety that could of crippled him from going?...you need to figure out if that excuse is bullshit or if it is genuine and if it's not a repeating behavior then I wouldn't think too much into it...but if it is a reoccuring theme in your relationship...then I would dive deeper into the meaning of this in relation to the other parts of your relationship
2021-04-15 7:49 pm
You don't have a bf, liar! He's your f buddy and f buddies don't want to meet your got damn parents!
2021-04-15 8:48 am
The key question is whether or not he's a strong guy who just messed up.
A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).
My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), break up with this guy in a kind way unless he’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS The best way to get to know a strong man without dating is to participate in the activities of a community service or a school organization.
A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).
My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), break up with this guy in a kind way unless he’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS The best way to get to know a strong man without dating is to participate in the activities of a community service or a school organization.
參考: True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults,
Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
2021-04-15 7:13 am
Sounds like you're not the only one. Seriously who forgets their girlfriend's birthday or sleeps through it. It's time for you to move on and get somebody who's into you because he's not he is emotionally unavailable
2021-04-15 12:13 am
You are quite naive if you believe that's what happened.
The truth is, he doesn't give a damn about you, and had his dіck balls deep in another ho nutting all up in her giving her babies while you were ashamed in front of your family.
I would say you deserve better, but it's obvious you do not.
Good luck.
The truth is, he doesn't give a damn about you, and had his dіck balls deep in another ho nutting all up in her giving her babies while you were ashamed in front of your family.
I would say you deserve better, but it's obvious you do not.
Good luck.
2021-04-16 12:58 am
You already told that he is busy the whole week only free the weekend that's why he may be taking a rest and forgot your birthday. It's not a big issue and It's Okay you may forgive him. But your BF should more take care of it because you involve your family and maybe you wanted to introduce him to your parents.
But Forgive him for now and follow up his attitude.
But Forgive him for now and follow up his attitude.
2021-04-15 2:42 pm
Why are to telling random people on the internet about this, instead of confiding in a trusted friend, someone who knows you, and knows the situation? They would be better able to direct you.
Also, why instead of asking random strangers on the internet, have you not tried talking to him about it?
Also, why instead of asking random strangers on the internet, have you not tried talking to him about it?
2021-04-14 7:13 am
Not for a second. He didn't come because he is NOT your BF. You are a booty call. A boy friend would be there with flowers, a gift and happy to meet your parents.
You may never see or hear from him again-which will be a blessing for you.
You may never see or hear from him again-which will be a blessing for you.
2021-04-14 7:06 am
I cannot tell you whether or not you should accept this.
I CAN tell you this .. that no matter who we get together with, there will be times when we are hurt and disappointed. No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect.
Most marriages take about 20 years to work well, and what happens is that we burn out from fighting, retreat into our corners, alienated, to catch our breath. And MAYBE one day we remember why we fell in love with the person and decide that getting upset is not worth losing them over. That is when we turn towards them again, and if both do it, then that is when the marriage settles down and starts to work well.
So it is up to you. If this is not a behavior you can accept and be comfortable with, you likely will end up losing the relationship. Two years is a long time to just throw out the window because you are hurt and embarassed.
Now, if he ALWAYS does stuff like this, it just may become too emotionally-costly to stay with him. But only you can decide if this is what is right for you.
Be careful of anger. Anger is an attempt to avoid our hurt, and instead of talking to our hurt rationally, we blame our partner and push them to change. Which is why fights start, and why relationships fall apart.
Relationships only last if (1) Our partner is not TOO toxic, and (2) WE can change how we work with our emotions.
We have to focus on changing ourselves rather than changing our partner ... and if THEY do the same thing, then the relationship will probably thrive.
Next time - assuming you don't break up before then - merely HOPE he comes to your party rather than counting on him coming. And make it easy on yourself ... don't broadcast to others than he IS coming .. because that adds embarassment on top of hurt and disappointment and a feeling or rejection, and makes it harder for you to work with your emotions.
The thing about relationships is that the other person is never US, so they will not always love us the way we wish to be loved. This is either something we can live with, or it leads to a breakup. And sometimes (especially if there is physical abuse), a break up IS the right thing.
Btw, it is NOT obvious that he is cheating on you. Paranoid people jump to that conclusion .. without KNOWING if there is cheating. You will drive yourself crazy if you imagine he has lovers hiding behidn all the trees. Take your cue from how he treats you, and if he starts to make a habit out of letting you down, TALK to him. And if things don't then improve, consider brekaing up.
But also understand that the honeymoon-excitement dies out, and the most-common time period is 1 to 3 years into the relationship. So he MIGHT be losing interest. But if you both have good and honest communication together, you might benefit from talking to him about this.
Couples who make it work do not look for someone else for excitement when the infatuation in their relationship is dying out. They pull together as a team to make the relationship closer.
I CAN tell you this .. that no matter who we get together with, there will be times when we are hurt and disappointed. No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect.
Most marriages take about 20 years to work well, and what happens is that we burn out from fighting, retreat into our corners, alienated, to catch our breath. And MAYBE one day we remember why we fell in love with the person and decide that getting upset is not worth losing them over. That is when we turn towards them again, and if both do it, then that is when the marriage settles down and starts to work well.
So it is up to you. If this is not a behavior you can accept and be comfortable with, you likely will end up losing the relationship. Two years is a long time to just throw out the window because you are hurt and embarassed.
Now, if he ALWAYS does stuff like this, it just may become too emotionally-costly to stay with him. But only you can decide if this is what is right for you.
Be careful of anger. Anger is an attempt to avoid our hurt, and instead of talking to our hurt rationally, we blame our partner and push them to change. Which is why fights start, and why relationships fall apart.
Relationships only last if (1) Our partner is not TOO toxic, and (2) WE can change how we work with our emotions.
We have to focus on changing ourselves rather than changing our partner ... and if THEY do the same thing, then the relationship will probably thrive.
Next time - assuming you don't break up before then - merely HOPE he comes to your party rather than counting on him coming. And make it easy on yourself ... don't broadcast to others than he IS coming .. because that adds embarassment on top of hurt and disappointment and a feeling or rejection, and makes it harder for you to work with your emotions.
The thing about relationships is that the other person is never US, so they will not always love us the way we wish to be loved. This is either something we can live with, or it leads to a breakup. And sometimes (especially if there is physical abuse), a break up IS the right thing.
Btw, it is NOT obvious that he is cheating on you. Paranoid people jump to that conclusion .. without KNOWING if there is cheating. You will drive yourself crazy if you imagine he has lovers hiding behidn all the trees. Take your cue from how he treats you, and if he starts to make a habit out of letting you down, TALK to him. And if things don't then improve, consider brekaing up.
But also understand that the honeymoon-excitement dies out, and the most-common time period is 1 to 3 years into the relationship. So he MIGHT be losing interest. But if you both have good and honest communication together, you might benefit from talking to him about this.
Couples who make it work do not look for someone else for excitement when the infatuation in their relationship is dying out. They pull together as a team to make the relationship closer.
2021-04-14 5:56 am
Are you REALLY that stupid? He's got somebody else "out of town". That's obvious. Next time he comes to town, you should NOT be there for him. Find someone else who ISN'T living a double life.....
2021-04-14 3:03 am
Don't accept his excuses. Do not reply to him when he phones or texts. Then he will wonder why.
You deserve better. I remember a girl telling me that it was her birthday and she felt sad cos she had no man to share it with.
If you keep busy and do other stuff then you have less time to think.
You deserve better. I remember a girl telling me that it was her birthday and she felt sad cos she had no man to share it with.
If you keep busy and do other stuff then you have less time to think.
2021-04-14 7:46 am
"Should I accept this behavior from my boyfriend " What are you his mother, teacher? Hope he smartens up and dumps you.
2021-04-16 12:40 am
He's the type of guy that forgets to show up at his own wedding. Very strange.
2021-04-15 7:17 am
I dunno...u choose...technically its not our choice lol but I personally would talk to him...in person. find a time on a nice day and talk to him make sure theres no reason whatsoever for him to be busy. JUST ASK it may be hard, but it will help......
:)
:)
2021-04-17 10:12 pm
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參考: According to the Last Prophet (aka incarnated ARCHANGEL URIEL aka saint healer VYACHESLAV KRASHENINNIKOV) if the last descendant rejects mark of the beast, then his/her direct ancestors go to permanent heaven. To reject mark of the beast, one needs to hide within a 10-15 people group without electronics/documents. Documents are from Satan; burn them. Electronics can be used to track you and to show the antichrist (even on old broken unplugged TV set from 1970's); reject all vaccines, tests, temperature scans, etc.; forgive me.
收錄日期: 2021-04-24 08:44:18
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