As many of you already know my husband's daughter, my step-daughter recently moved back in with us because she was about to deliver her 1st child, my husband's 1st biological granddaughter. Well, she had the baby last week via c-section. What I thought was just going to be a 3 day stay after the baby was born to get her use to motherhood has now turned into a several week stay due to the c-section. Well, we're working from home and have been for the past year with no idea when we'll be going back into our offices. My husband's sister also works from home and lives less than a mile down the road from us. His parents are retired. I found out that he, his sister, and his mom had decided that because of covid it's not the best time to just put the baby in a daycare when mommy goes back to work. So the decision was made to split daycare duties between the three houses. I wasn't consulted on this at all. My husband and I have an old church friend who is opening a daycare soon so I suggested that they put the baby in her care. He feels that's not the best decision because this is her first time dealing with kids. Plus, again with covid he doesn't want his granddaughter possibly exposed around people he doesn't know how they live their lives. He feels that between the three house they could protect this baby better than just sticking her in a daycare. I feel my feelings weren't considered here. Am I wrong or should I just go with the flow and get over it?
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My husband works for a medical company and is on the phones all day and he said that he takes calls from patients and doctor's offices and he said he hears people all day with kids in the background who are also working from home. He feels that's the new norm and it is now accepted. I just think it's not professions to be on a business call trying to feed a baby or hear a child crying in the background.
Except for refusing to care for this child, you have no real say here. It's not your daughter; it's not your granddaughter; you are not the sole owner of the home.
It would be best if you and your husband agreed on the subject, but all you can do in the circumstances say, "Well, OK, the baby stays here regularly, but I will not assume child-care responsibilities, not least because I wasn't consulted and my views were not taken into account."I agree about the professionalism issue, but it's up to your husband to decide how that will work -- or won't.
I'm confused about how I would know anything about your life. This isn't your personal chat site (or so I presume). I DO agree that it's not "professions" to hear a child crying in the background. I called my insurance agent and her toddler was having a screaming fit in the background, and I am looking for another agent. Instead of calling me back she chose to deal with the child and vacantly answer my question. Where's the father, the father's family, in this scenario and why is the mother/daughter/stepdaughter homeless?
Go with the flow. I bet if it were your daughter, you would not let them out of your home. Be a damn adult.
I think you have a right to feel upset as this was a pretty impactful decision. Having a child at your house is obviously going to change the way that you live your lives and you therefore definitely have the right to have your say. With that being said, I feel that this is one of those situations where you have the potential to look like the "bad guy" if you go against what has already been planned. Therefore, I would only object if you feel that the arrangements that have been put in place already are untenable. If not, then I honestly feel it is not worth starting a conflict over.
since you weren't consulted, make sure you tell your husband HE will be doing ALL the babysitting.
Go with the flow! For God's sake, why does everything have to go your way. This is an infant in the world of covid-19 and you would rather just stick her in a daycare of someone who has never watched kids before? Think about that. And between the three houses how often do you really think she'll be at your place? Maybe a couple of days a week? Be an adult for once. I don't blame him for not wanting his granddaughter to just be pushed into some daycare to be left in a crib all day crying and wet. You don't sound like you've embraced the title of grandma yet, even though your own son had 2 kids by 2 different women. Your husband is right here. You seem to have a problem going along with anything that isn't your idea.
Yes, yes, we know. It's low-key astounding how you and your husband have the exact same writing style. Look, your husband's trying to exorcise the guilt he feels over being an absent parent by enabling his now adult daughter to be irresponsible. He's even trying to drive a wedge between her and the child's father because he views this baby as an opportunity to be a better dad than he was to his own children. So you've got that to contend with.
But having had two c-sections it does take a while to recover from them and as your husband's basically chased off the baby daddy who should be helping your step-daughter in the privacy of her own apartment, somebody's got to be there for this new mom. Most daycares don't take newborns and a pandemic, even though it's very rare for a child to get COVID, probably isn't the time to try to put one in a group situation. You married a guy with some emotional baggage and unless you're willing to divorce him over this you're probably going to have to just grin and bear it for another few weeks. If step-daughter isn't out of your home by the baby's first month milestone then it would be time to start issuing some ultimatums.
Oh. So now we're not getting questions from the husband, it's the wife. How cute. All I know is, this new mama isn't leaving anytime soon and I imagine that was the plan all along. Covid has nothing to do with this. Maybe you should leave for a year or so.
I'd say it's best if you decide whether you can give some time to the common effort, and even try to be flexible about that. For example, if you take a lunch hour during the day, could you take it when it will help the most, and give of your time? Set your boundaries and give only what you can reasonably spare, and be firm about it. In fact, if it were me, I'd carve out a space in the garage or shed, or rope off a corner of the basement, and remain adamant that nobody bring anything noisy into my "office area." (Yup, like a baby.) It's his home and he has a right to invite people. However, you set the parameters of your contribution. Best of luck. I hope you can spare some time and nobody takes advantage. Don't be surprised if they try.
If you're not into babysitting and since you were never asked, tell the mother of the baby you're out and have other things to do, can't spare time to watch the baby. Besides, it's your husband's biological grandchild, let him watch the baby.
It's not your duty or responsibility to watch someone else's kid
Sorry Snowed:
I can't get past someone opening a DAYCARE when "this is her first time dealing with kids."
HOnestly, are you for real?
You are wrong. SUCK IT UP
