Get togethers without your spouses?

I agree with Jerry on here... a good husband or a good wife would tell their partner where they will be, the exact location and tell their partner that they can show up anytime. What is the big deal telling your spouse where you will be... I feel a good spouse has nothing to hide. You should want them to know where you are in case they have an emergency. 

Although I see no problem with it overall, the timing could be better. His employer has them separated as it does not want them exposed to COVID and now that COVID is hitting an all time high they're getting together?

I would think the bigger concern would be “my husband wants to get together with a group of people he hasn’t seen in months to have a holiday party. They will be eating a drinking, and I’m pretty sure social distancing and mask wearing is unlikely. How do I convince him this isn’t a good idea right before the holidays during a pandemic?”

What do you think he’s going to do, starting making out with or have sex with a female coworker at this event? If you are that insecure about him even spending time around a female coworker, your issues are so much deeper than not being there. 

Happy birthday, by the way. Sorry that “Patrick” doesn’t feel turning 50 is a cause for celebration for you.

Only if he's got a history of cheating on you with coworkers. 1. It's a work thing. 2. It's happening during a time when only small numbers of people are allowed to gather (none of this would currently be legal in the county where I live). 3. If he's never given you cause for suspicion you're coming off as a bit nutty on this one. 

Try and find out when and where the party is. Get someone you trust to go to it, and watch your husband. Or even higher a PI to do all of this for you.

Every man and every marriage is it's own thing. I'd not be remotely "concerned" that my husband was going to have a get together with work colleagues for a few hours except for the fact that Covid is raging through our country and, at least in my state, every bar and restaurant is CLOSED and gatherings of over 10 are firmly discouraged even in outdoor spaces. That would greatly concern me. That it's co-ed? Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. My husband has proven that he's capable of keeping in it his pants without my constant monitoring! I can't imagine how it is between the two of you that you simply don't trust your spouse. But it's stupid to have parties right now. 

In my own marriage, we each expect to keep the other informed about where we are, who we're with, what we're doing, to welcome the other dropping in unexpectedly. Why would one object to this if ones intention is to NOT sneak, to NOT deceive, to NOT do anything we would mind the spouse knowing about. 

I don't mean a minute by minute itinerary, but there certainly wouldn't be any "I'm going to a party but not you telling where or when." That kind of "my whereabouts and doings are none of your business" dynamic has no place in marriage. 

I'm not advising you to stoop to spying, but in your place I would be suspicious, would seek to verify rather than confidently accepting my spouse's accounts of his whereabouts and doings. Things like keeping track of the car's odometer readings, like carefully checking credit card records for odd expenditures, like "just happening" to drop by when he's supposedly visiting his brother, things like "A text from Chris? Let me see?" And so on. 

The idea of "getting together" with these people after all these months of distancing is about as sane as running the first 23 miles of a marathon and stopping to play watch paint dry instead of finishing the race. You've come this far and you're going to throw it all away for THAT? Very suspicious. 

He will get together with all the men and they will have a circle jerk party 
No women there so no worries 

I don’t see any problem with it