if my father's girlfriend disrespects me, is it wrong for me to not want his girlfriend going to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday?

That's fine, but you don't get to tell your father to come alone. Cancel the celebration if you don't want this interaction. During this pandemic, not going to a restaurant is the wiser decision anyway.
Best of luck.

Dont go at all, if your fathers asks, tell him why.  Why do people make such a big deal over a birthday any how? its not like you are 100.

If you, your father and his girlfriend were all contemporaries you might actually be able to win this one. But you're the junior partner in all of this so you may not be able to maintain a good relationship with Dad unless you swallow your pride and make some allowances for this woman he loves. 

No it's not wrong, but whether or not your father will think so is another story, depending on whether he knows how she treats you