How do I stop attracting abusive men?

Sometimes "meek" is what attracts dominating men to certain women. If you're projecting strength and you're showing that you have your own opinions, are self-supportive, etc. guys who are jerks are less likely to want to be with you in the first place. While there's no excuse for men to abuse women, you may (inadvertently) be attracting that sort with how you present yourself. Maybe you can speak with a counselor or mentor (or something) who might objectively be able to help you see what you may do to improve how you appear and who you attract. 

Your problem isn't just that you attract them; it's also that you get involved with them. By now, you should have developed some "radar" for the abusive type, but it seems there's something about that type that attracts YOU.

Abusers naturally gravitate to the vulnerable, THEY have radar for THAT type.  So, I think you should see a therapist and figure out what you're projecting: low self-esteem and neediness are my guesses.  What's gone in your life to produce that impression?  How could you develop a personalty, a way of operating, that projects greater strength and self-esteem? And what is it about the charming sociopath type that either attracts you or that you can't detect?

Get professional help. That's the best advice I can give you.

The question is not how you stop attracting them, because that's something you might not have complete control over.

What you DO have control over is deciding not to keep on going out with them. You're not OBLIGED to go out with someone just because they find you attractive.

You can't, you can only stop dating them. Women are attracted to bad boys so date a shy, quiet man instead. They may not be your cup of tea, but a single mom in her thirties can't be picky.

Wow why did you get so many good answers but when I posted this a couple years ago on here, I only got like 2 or 3! That's 2 or 3 good ones! The rest were trolls wanting to insult me! Talk about lucky! 

tell your self your great and dont deserve a man who abuses you

mean guys are attracted to your weak personality. man up. stand up for yourself! you son is going to imitate these abusive men or overcompensate and become your protector and end up killing one of them. it'll be all your fault too for being so weak and spineless. 

You may not want to hear this, but Sunday School class is often a good place to find a strong man.

May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).

My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already) and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!

PS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:

1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)

2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating

3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)

4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question

5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around

6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)

7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you

8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful

9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you

10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you

11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet

12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes

13. Be known as a hard worker

14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)

15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all

16. Truly care about other people

17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable

18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this

19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person

20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you

21. Don’t act desperate for a date

Become hunter and a sharpshooter. Losers and stupid people will know not to F with you.

Actually I think you got a good answer.

If it keeps happening, you will learn the warning signs to avoid.