That no such exists.
And I didn't want to believe it. So I looked into it. For a very long time.
After all of that...no such exists.
He didn't intervene to help.
That he is imaginary like Aslan.
The earliest thing I can remember being told about 'God' is that questioning what I was being told about 'God' was not allowed because it was 'sacred'.
As I got older, I noticed that a lot of people only seemed to believe in 'God' was that they had been told the same thing, and were afraid to question it.
When I looked back at what I had been taught with a critical eye, I couldn't believe that it was the least bit compelling to anyone.
He is a good God
James 1:17 KJV — Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
Psalm 84:11 KJV — For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.
In 2003 I was a seasoned, worldly, 42 year old woman who owned a popular local business. After 4 years I had 9,000 registered clients who loved me. I was confident and fun; and they hung on my words. I would see many of them two or three times a week. They’d tell me their problems and seek advice. I was a safe place.
It was all a front.
In reality, my life was a living hell. I was functioning, but when darkness came my guilt was eating me alive. I was crushed by the weight of my sins; like a boulder on top of me. Drowning and dying of thirst at the same time. Then one day, when I said out loud that I thought I needed to go to church, some kind stranger said in passing “God hates religion.”
WHAT?!
Wait a minute. If God hates religion…. that makes the whole world make sense. It was as if someone gave me a glass of cool water for the parched desert that was my soul. I HAD TO find out who this God was.
Long story short, after several weeks of investigating this ‘God’ who hates religion (being drawn to Him, by Him… like a swimmer draws water with the hand) I was hooked. I lllllliked Him. A LOT. Everything I believed about everything up until that point seemed like garbage compared to this God and this wonderful teaching I was hearing. The moment I believed and said the words out loud, that this God… this Jesus…. was who He claimed to be…. my whole life changed. I was born a second time… given a new life; even eternal life. All my sins washed away.
It was if I hit the Universal Lottery! I was like an instant TRILLIONAIR… and I couldn’t wait to give away the money…. !!!
But then something weird happened. People didn’t want what I was offering. Couldn’t they SEE????? What the heck?! These people who hung on my every word and flocked to me like so many sheep in the past…. they had absolutely no interest in this amazing, wonderful God of mine.
After a week of celebrating… being high on His love and my new life, I quieted down as He spoke to me in my spirit and told me “Don’t throw My name around. It sounds like a lie.” and “Establish yourself as a credible witness first, before you testify.”
Seventeen years later I am well trained for this spiritual battle; armour is on. Like a well-equipped fireman in a building about to explode… I’m here to show others the one and only way out. If you are stubborn, and hostile to my message…. I brush the dirt off and go to the next person who WANTS to be saved.
Because, my friend… in the end I have found that “you can’t sell a heater to an Eskimo who loves the cold.” If you don’t want to walk away from the building (the world) and take this offer of salvation (the universal lottery, even including paradise as your ultimate home) then you surely don’t deserve it.
Turn your back on the offer of salvation? Then how will you escape being condemned to hell? By law - even spiritual law - if a guilty party who is sentenced to death, refuses a pardon by an authority willing to give it; the court has no power to force the pardon on the person. God’s desire to show you mercy cannot override the need for justice to be done. That’s why people must LET God forgive them and accept the gift of the atoning sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.
I know you don’t fully understand. So have faith and ask: God will have mercy on you and show you exactly what the cross means. Your faith will see Jesus suffering on the tree and vow revenge against the sins that nailed Him there.
That He loves me. That is the first thing my parents taught me about God, since it is central to everything else we know about Him.
God is very understanding or well aware of all things, very merciful, very kind and most good is what I learned first from personal experiences and reflecting upon God's Perfect Attributes.