how are we suppose to get a haircut if all the salons are closed?

Let it grow. Is it going to kill you?

I've got my hair clippers.  They work a treat...

You're not. People are cutting it themselves. They are using those vacuum razor things, etc.

do it yourself like everyone else is

Flowbee will do until my barbers back.

The only way I know is to be mayor of Chicago and, therefore, be better than all of us. That way, since you're more important than the people who gave you the job, you can go to any salon you want and/or force one to open to cut your hair for you. If you're just some regular person, you're out of luck.

ask a friend to do it

Not sure where you are from, but in Australia, hair salons are not considered a "non-essential service" and are still open. But still, only one person is allowed in the salon for every four square metres. Also, hair salons are open only to do hair cuts and nothing else. The maximum time for a hair appointment is 30 minutes but governments may be changing that.

Don’t you mean barber well my state California is closed and this stupid coronavirus is pissing me off.

Most people will advice us to cut our own hair but how?
Procedure: needs scissor and comb as shown in picture then comb the hair and hold steady by clipping with 2 fingers then cut in even length desire to cut but start by half inch all around until getting the desired length you desired.