My freshman year of highschool,
i had a crush on this boy, i confessed and told him that i loved him. But he was so immature about it. He made fun of me and told everyone, and said nasty things about me, that i'm an ugly whore , etc...
Almsot half a decade after and i still can't get over it .
I don't want to seem like a brat or anything,but I always had crushes who liked me back and boys who constantly fall for me and think i'm pretty. But the horrible things this boy said about me made me question everything. If i was really pretty like all the others boys said, then why was he so mean and cruel to me ? I feel like my whole life has been a lie.
On the other hand i feel like trash. Highschool was the worst and the majority of my friends turned out to be fake and talked trash behind my back. Plus everyone thinks i'm a whore and it's not who i am. I've always been a good nerdy girl and i can't believe i did such a stupid thing. I feel like i don't have dignity anymore, like i'm not a normal girl like the other girls anymore, it's killing me. Even though i graduaded from highschool a long time ago but i still can't get over it. It's stuck in my heart and i feel like trash. I wish i could change everything.
I'm going to college next year and i'm so scared, i want to start over and make new friends , but what if i find someone from highschool and they will ruin my reputation again ?
I feel so tired mentally and i truly need help. Do you guys have any advice for me ?
I confessed to my crush and i regret it so much ?
2020-04-03 5:19 am
回答 (6)
2020-04-03 5:55 am
#1 Don't confuse a "crush" for "love". Similar chemicals in the brain, but a crush comes from hope and an imagined future, where true love comes from a place of actual trust, intimacy, and experience.
#2 Remember your number one reason for going to college is to get an education you can base a career on that will give personal security as an adult (and hopefully will be something you can enjoy).
#3 Seek some therapy if you can because it seems like a burden you have been carrying way too long. And college will have new challenges. Learn to meditate, do yoga, or other things that you can focus on and do mindlessly.
#4 Prioritize developing friends of the same gender in college before any kind of romantic relationship.
#5 In college you will probably be exposed to more alcohol than ever before (and other substances). If you partake, know your limits before you go off and do something stupid.#6 Lastly, nerds on high school often do great in college and beyond. Your best times are ahead of you and you have opportunities for success in whatever you want to do. I think you will find you will end up in a much better place than most of those that tormented you in high school.
#2 Remember your number one reason for going to college is to get an education you can base a career on that will give personal security as an adult (and hopefully will be something you can enjoy).
#3 Seek some therapy if you can because it seems like a burden you have been carrying way too long. And college will have new challenges. Learn to meditate, do yoga, or other things that you can focus on and do mindlessly.
#4 Prioritize developing friends of the same gender in college before any kind of romantic relationship.
#5 In college you will probably be exposed to more alcohol than ever before (and other substances). If you partake, know your limits before you go off and do something stupid.#6 Lastly, nerds on high school often do great in college and beyond. Your best times are ahead of you and you have opportunities for success in whatever you want to do. I think you will find you will end up in a much better place than most of those that tormented you in high school.
2020-04-03 5:30 am
First of all, DO NOT let immature boys or ppl from HS dictate and determine how you feel about yourself. They were the rude, awful people, not you---so you don't have anything to feel bad about. They bullied you bc they were insecure and tearing down others made them feel better, that's the truth! If you let those bullies determine how you live your life now, you're giving them power. Do you want to give them that power? If you believe the things they said about you and still let it affect you, you'll keep yourself from living your best life NOW. Keeping yourself from meeting good people, dating nice guys, and making real & true friends. I understand that trauma from the past can hurt, but if it's affecting you so badly still 10 years later, I think you should seek some help to talk through this. People who never fully deal with issues from the past carry it with them forever, so see a therapist, put this behind you, and know you are a good person who deserves a great life!
2020-04-03 5:52 am
You already answered your own question. He was immature and didn't know how to react to what you told him. Instead of running away his response was to push you away in a very immature way. I guarantee you that boys wouldn't tell you that you were pretty if it wasn't true. People that pretend to be your friends and behave the way your friends did are very often actually jealous of that person. Because of their lack of maturity and good character they try to tear that person down because it makes them feel better about themselves. It is really shitty behavior and is something that insecure people do to compensate for their doubts about themselves. You certainly didn't deserve to be treated that way and from a complete stranger that has no reason to lie to you I can tell you that you aren't trash. People's behavior often is though. If you ever feel like talking unfairly about someone remember what it feels like to be on the receiving end. That is the beginning of real growth as a person and is empathy. Something that needs to be learned but can't be taught. You should consider forgiving those people. That will release the hold of what they did seems to have on you and then you can move on with your life.
2020-04-03 5:32 am
I doubt anyone will remember and if they do ignore them. You need to stop letting one incident from what will turn out to be the worst period of anyone's life (think about it saying high school is supposed to be the best time of your life is just sad) know you are beautiful and desirable and get on with your life enjoy learning and you may even find someone who appreciates you for who you are
2020-04-03 5:30 am
Ok, high school is over and your going to college. Great. Choose a college or university where your pretty sure that no one else will likely go. Make it far away and live on campus. If the university is large(10k-30K students) then you will never run into anyone else from your highschool. You will gain new friends, if you integrate with that college society and you will be able to start your life over. After you graduate, get a good job, make lots of money, build a giant portfolio and when you return to your former home, you will have more wealth than anyone else in your class, no matter what they started with. The other way is to choose a field where no one else will likely go. Pharmacy college is very specific and pays well. Research and development is an area where you will never run into anyone from your high school. Nursing, physical therapy, occupational therapy etc. No one in your class will go into them. Pick one, then go to a great school that teaches it with a high placement after graduation. Then graduate from that college. Good luck.
2020-04-03 5:29 am
Therapy. It seems that this event, which was minor in the grand scheme of things, was overblown in your mind and made into much more than it should have been. That’s an indicator of mental issues on your part, issues that a licensed professional therapist can help you work through. Make an appointment today.
收錄日期: 2021-04-24 07:46:31
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