Confused someone help me why do guys play mind games for?

2020-03-17 2:04 pm
Ive been with my ex for a yr, we just recently broke up cause I caught him texting another girls phone, we got in a huge fight & broke up, he told me he doesn't love me anymore, & that he doesn't want kids or marriage with me, & he thought if he done someone else that would be the end of us, (the girl rejected him) but why would he cuddle me of a night, & have s e x with me a week later, I'm so confused so heart broken I just wish things would go back to normal, I've been such an emotional wreck someone help please dont judge me

回答 (2)

2020-03-17 10:52 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Sorry about your pain. He's not treating you with respect and mutual respect is the foundation of any long lasting relationship. It sounds like you need to immediately talk to a professional counselor to help you get over him. Counseling is often available for a low fee through health insurance. Almost everyone needs counseling at some point in their life.

Could you possibly be confusing having the feeling of being "in love" and true love?

Here's some information about love from the book True Love Lasts:

“Unfortunately, lots of people don’t know what true love is and that’s a big reason why a large number of marriage relationships are unhappy. Many people think that true love is just a feeling. You know, the wonderful head spinning feeling of being “in love.”

If true love is just a feeling, feelings come and go. But true love doesn't come and go. True love is patient and kind. It isn’t jealous, rude, selfish, controlling, or easily angered. It forgives. It’s supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

Unlike the feeling of being “in love” which is relatively easy to get especially during dating, true love usually develops slowly over a significant period of time (often years). In order to develop true love for someone you really have to know them well – which means that you have had a chance to observe their behavior in all types of situations (pay special attention to how they react when things go wrong or they don’t get their way). True love is so much more than just the feeling of being “in love” - it’s supposed to be a mutual lifelong commitment. When you say that you love your significant other, you’re saying that you’re committed to loving them for the rest of your life - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death do you part. True love lasts - it almost never fails.

Think of it this way, if a person has true love for another person, it’s like the sun - it’s always there no matter what (remember that even at night, the sun is still there, it’s just shining on the other side of the earth - and when it’s cloudy outside the sun is also still there, it’s just behind the clouds).

On the other hand, the feeling of being “in love” is like sunshine - even though we’d like it to be sunny every day, the truth is that the amount of sunshine changes regularly. Some days it’s nice and sunny and the feeling of being “in love” is strong, on others it’s partly cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is there but it’s not very strong, and on other days it’s cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is barely there at all. I’m hoping that this explanation is helping you to see that it’s possible for a person to have true love for another person and not have a strong intense feeling of being “in love” with that person at a particular moment. (If you talk with married couples, I think they’ll tell you that the strength of their feelings of being “in love” changes regularly.)

So when you hear someone say, “I don't love him or her anymore” - take it for what it usually is. It’s usually someone saying that they’ve lost the feeling of being “in love”, that they don’t know how or they’re not willing to make the effort required to get the feeling back, and that they probably never had true love for their significant other to begin with because true love almost never fails.

Many times I’ve heard young women say, “my boyfriend loves me.” Unfortunately, most of these women have been fooled. How could their boyfriend possibly have true love for them if their boyfriend doesn’t even know what true love is? Sadly many people marry when one or both people don't have true love for the other - and the result is usually divorce because it's hard to keep a marriage together when it's based only on the feeling of being "in love."

Hope this helps!
參考: The book True Love Lasts
2020-03-17 2:16 pm
One year is still a blissful stage in most relationships. If you're having these types of problems now, it's definitely not going to work out.
He keeps having sex with you because he can. End of.
As females, we have a shorter window of being highly desirable. Don't waste your best years screwing around with someone who's made it clear that "you ain't it".
 

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