How and where will I hide from life now on 😐? ?

I've had the habit of hiding from things. From school, from people, from peers, from jobs, quitting and hiding has been my favourite thing.

Hiding and staying at home in my room. Ah the comfort of free food, free boarding, internet, all bills paid, money to buy stuff online, car to drive around. Parents taking care of themselves at old age.

It was a perfect escape! Nobody absolutely nobody to bother me. Except time, time caught up with me said it's time up buddy. Dad fell ill badly and he is almost going away from us in a month or two. Mom is aged and ill. Now I'm being pulled right out of my room and made to stand naked infront a mirror placed in the middle of the city and there I see myself. I'm all exposed and I'm nude and useless.

Beneath the nakedness fear, insecurities, shame, guilt, suppressed feelings and shyness. I am about to stand with tears in my eyes I don't know what to do or where to go from here. All alone, feeling the most vulnerable & Lonely.

My creepy awkwardness! At 35 I'm a housebound, lonely guy not taking any jobs because I act like a pervert and it scares me to be out with people. I'd rather die alone in my room than go face the world.