請幫我查閱以下英文文章文法及語句是否通順正確?

My name is Roy. I was born in Taiwan; now (studying) in College. My major is mechanical engineering, and favorite subject is (the use of mechines and the technology).
My hobby is reading and watching movies, and my "dream job" is (Interior Decoration and Design), because it (has) a (magnificent) commercial market. 
In the first (place), I wish my boss will give me (a much more) chance for promotion, and (does not uninspiringly fire me).(Secondly), I  wish my residence is closer (to) my office. At last, I wish my salary (to be based on the salaried class and post.)

(To be responsible for the) job, I need (more experience to make sure the work ( is in a smoothly manner running). Various thinking (at various times) (should) make my work (easier), though.
Moreover, a science attitude is most important to the work. Also, I should (have the responsibility,legally or morally, for carrying out my duty for the care of it).
(Thanks for your attention and time.)

如此長篇...
先指出真的文法錯誤並按你原文寫出正確寫法：
now studying in school
my favorite subject is science
because it has a huge commercial market
XX XXX First, I wish my 
don't fire me
XX Last(或Lastly), I wish 
沒有主詞(可能你是想接下句的I想怎樣)To be responsible for this job,
I need xxxx xxx more and more experience to make sure to work smoothly,這裏改了你的名詞work為動詞work {註work smooth是中式英文不是英文]
but also various thinking to make xxx{一直只是"I") work easily

越講越不像英文，所以無法改了。