Sharing the home with an abusive sibling is it worth having a place to stay? ?

2019-10-22 8:13 pm
I live with my parents as a socially avoidant, loner without a job and so does my elder brother who is also jobless.

It's a strange family my dad doesn't talk openly and is emotionally unavailable, when he talks he only talks about himself, He gives us free money! Also tries to influence loyalty based on this reward system. My mother is emotionally immature and socially dumb.. She is the only one we could talk to but it is a wild ride she is inchoherent and also is very unintentionally hurts people with her conversation skills pretty bad. 

Then there is my elder brother extremely neurotic, always suspicious, has been spying in everyone at home overhears others conversations, bullies weak and helpless one. Extremely selfish and violent in a evil way treating animals badly, helpless people in inhuman ways. Laughs when people are helpless and weak. I'm shy, quiet, passive aggressive, weak and too sensitive and of no use socially with low self esteem with no friends which my elder brother opposed me bringing my friends home or having any friendships by humiliating and scaring me.

Now I'm 35 and he is 38.. Parents are getting old I live with my parents home have been housebound for years with pathetic work history. I have had enough of my elder brother.. I want to leave but being friendless, jobless and no social contact I get discouraged to make a move. Also my parents are aged and ill I don't know how to handle any of this constant harrasment. 

回答 (4)

2019-10-22 10:04 pm
I think it is. I would regularly shun someone in the home that was abusive. At least you have some family that cares for you. There are people living on the streets with next to nothing. I for one, am thankful for the conditions I live with, even though they are not optimal. I will be 31 this year, and live at home. I can't get anywhere without some kind of income, and I haven't had it in years. I just went on an interview and am hoping for the best. There are steps in life. Life is like a ladder, you either move up it or down it, and what makes you do either, is A SOURCE of income.
2019-10-22 9:25 pm
Leave. You'll be fine. As long as you are there, you are part of the problems there. Even if you want to be helpful to your parents, you can't do it from inside the home. You need to get out, and work on yourself before being able to help others. If you are able to leave soon, do so. Then, see a therapist. A therapist is someone with whom you can practice social skills, who will help you see what's right about you, and who will help you figure out a week by week plan to build a happier, healthier, independent life. If you'll be pressured to stay, then leave without telling anyone or letting them know at the last moment. You can always start the process of making friends by volunteering for a cause, a political campaign, or something else. You could also join churches like the Quakers and Unitarians, where part of their traditions are to befriend people. But, you're 35. Time to get out of that messed up home, and once you are strong again, you will be able to decide how to handle your family in the future.
2019-10-22 8:26 pm
It's easy for me to say "Get a grip and take action," but I can't think of anything else to say other than you need therapy - which is action. You must be very depressed by all this. Do you have any relatives outside of your immediate family?
There are online support groups for every kind of problem. check meetup dot com; you don't even necessarily need to go anywhere.
2019-10-22 11:17 pm
I'm sorry you're going through such trials. Why not take a look at the publication below which features a chapter on family happiness. Millions of people have benefitted from applying it's Bible based suggestions.
參考: jw.org/What Can the Bible Teach Us?/Your Family Can Be Happy


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