how long should i keep searching for a girlfriend?

2019-10-04 4:47 am
I am 29 and never had a girlfriend before. I makes my life sometimes quite sad although i try not to show it. All aspects of my life are amazing, I have a phd, quite good salary, a lot of hobbie, enough friends(mainly female ) ... but the only thing I wanted since high school was someone who has mutual interest in me. I look fine but I think I dont match with people. I have been improving myself but now the only thing left is to meet as many girls as possible to match with one but after 15years of failed effort, I am getting tired, do you think I should come to conclusion its not for me?

回答 (3)

2019-10-04 7:51 am
✔ 最佳答案
No - follow some of the suggestions below. Remember that a strong woman is looking for a strong guy.

May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).

My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already) and eventually look for this type of girl (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of woman is difficult to find - but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!

PS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:

1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)

2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating

3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)

4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question

5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around

6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)

7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you

8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful

9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you

10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you

11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet

12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes

13. Be known as a hard worker

14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)

15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all

16. Truly care about other people

17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable

18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this

19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person

20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you

21. Don’t act desperate for a date
參考: True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
2019-10-04 12:50 pm
Something tells me you're quite the nice guy. Anyway, you'll meet her soon enough...
2019-10-04 4:58 am
Keep searching until you find her.

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