He rejected me but is there a possibility he still likes me?

2019-03-21 7:46 am
Basically I like this guy from my university course. We’ve not had a lot of chances to talk but the other week we got time alone to talk and it was amazing he looked me in the eyes not how a friend would look at you. He’s really shy and quiet so I took the plunge today and messaged him to ask if he’d like to hang out with me. He replied saying he’s flattered but he’s sorry he’s ‘not looking for that kinda thing right now’ the said he genuinely appreciated the offer and put a smiley emoji? I know that’s such a common way to let a girl down but is there any chance he does like me and there’s another reason he doesn’t feel he can date me right now. I just know how he acts with me and my (very honest) friends see it too. He is very shy and I’m seen as quite outgoing. Ive also noticed he hasn’t been to a lot of classes lately maybe he’s been ill? I know everyone will say just get over him but I’m not ready to give up. What could I do to find out if there’s more to it??

回答 (5)

2019-03-21 8:05 am
✔ 最佳答案
It could be that he genuinely wasn t looking for anything right now, it s difficult to say because no one can read his mind. He may also be going through something at the moment that you aren t aware of, I'd just give him some space and let things be for now. Have fun with your friends and maybe one day he ll come around. You never know what people might be going through in their own lives, so I d just let him come forward on his own time.
2019-03-21 8:14 am
If he rejected you then there's pretty much no chance in hell he fancies you. If a guy properly likes a girl he'll trip over himself trying to make himself be with her.

There was a guy when I was in highschool who was very smiley and "flirty" with me, and my friend was always like "ooooh he likes you". Well a couple of years later he came out as gay. So trust me I know you feel like he likes you, but some people just give off that vibe because they have no issues with being super friendly/intimate. If you asked him out and he said no then there's just no way he likes you. Feeling that someone likes you because of the way they "looked into your eyes" is a one-way ticket to Stalker City.

Trust me guys don't think like girls. Guys don't think "ughh I just have SO MUCH on my plate right now and I can't possibly hang out with this cute girl I like". Even if his mother was dying I'm pretty sure he'd find time to hang out with you. Wanting a serious relationship is another story though. He probably hasn't been to a lot of classes because he's a guy and he's spending all his time playing videogames.

Idk why but I have this random feeling that maybe he went through some kind of a breakup and he still misses her. Am I wrong?
2019-03-21 10:37 am
“Katzen” is absolutely right! Don’t go after the guys who doesn’t want to talk to you.
2019-03-21 8:32 am
The key question is whether or not he's a strong guy who's worth waiting for until he's ready.

Could you possibly be making dating choices mainly based upon whether someone likes you and you like them? Unfortunately this approach to dating, used by most people, usually leads to a broken heart.

May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).

My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), forget about this guy unless he’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!

PS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:

1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)

2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating

3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)

4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question

5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around

6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)

7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you

8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful

9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you

10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you

11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet

12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes

13. Be known as a hard worker

14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)

15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all

16. Truly care about other people

17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable

18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this

19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person

20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you

21. Don’t act desperate for a date
參考: True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
2019-03-21 7:54 am
Maybe he was being honest, he's not looking for a relationship. I think you should respect his decision. Spend time with another guy, take your mind off of him.

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