Hello all, me and my gf have been together for 2 years and it was going well until a variety of events ensued that revolve around her ex and my insecurities.
Backstory: She has 2 kids and I have none, she has an ex thats an active father as in takes care of kids
That aspect was fine, he lives in yadada and she stays over here in blahblah. The issue came when throughout the relationship she talked about him a bit and i brushed it off cuz Iunderstand people talk about exes sometimes, especially when they have kids together. However, i started hearing too much as in his job, pay, he knew karate he's a big guy, etc and it continued until I blew up about it. (Im an introvert and really i didnt want to ruin the relationship) . But we talked about it and it stopped she apologized and life went on.
Then..i found out hes much older like now in his early..40s? And has loke 6 baby mamas/ other kids. And some of them get along (the baby mamas) and even hamg out at like..4th of july at the (ex male)mamas place. My gf says its because some of them came to terms and do it for the children. I finally understood but its not something i agree with.The issue is now i know all these things and im highly insecure it turns out and feel like a nothing fill in to this older man and I dont know what to do or how to approach it because i dont want her ez be the factor of if i end this relationship .
Tldr: I feel insecure in comparison to my gfs older ex bf and i dont know how to get over this
How to come to peace between me, my gf, and her ex?
2019-03-21 1:46 am
回答 (4)
2019-03-21 2:00 am
✔ 最佳答案
First off, imo, YOU have to come to terms with your OWN feels. IF this relationship does not last - it is NOT because of her Ex. It's because YOU cannot deal. So either you come to terms with her past (it will ALWAYS be there) and accept it OR you have to own your feels and accept you cannot get passed, her past.No blaming her, no blaming him, no blaming their kids. Especially if you knew about she had kids before you hooked up with her. It's not like she got them from WalMart - women with kids come with some sort of situation and you as the new beau need to have the strength to support her/kids and that situation in order to be in the picture.
IF you cannot do that - then you owe it to yourself and to her to break it off and move on. Good luck.
2019-03-21 1:55 am
Request to not be involved in discussions about him. As her child's father, she will continue to have contact with him. Pointless comparisons serve no one - she's with YOU now.
2019-03-21 5:00 am
Yeah, guys don't like to hear about an ex all the time. Tell her she has to cut it out, it gets old hearing about him all the time or you are going to have to find someone else because you just can't handle it anymore.
2019-03-21 2:37 am
I have some bad news. You are not just being compared to her ex, but every guy she has ever dated. Grow a backbone and come to realize there are reasons she chose to be with you and not him.
收錄日期: 2021-04-24 07:33:07
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