My husband and I are in a rocky relationship right now and I found out that he's been texting and talking to his female co-worker. He's been telling her our marriage problems. All his problems about me. I confront the woman on the phone and I talked to her patiently and in a friendly way. She told me not to worry about her and her husband because there's nothing to be jealous of.
She's 5 or 6 years older than the woman. She reassured me that there's nothing going on between him and his husband and my husband told her about our argument last time that I was jealous of her. She told me on the phone that she heard I'm jealous of her and my husband that's when she said that they're just close friends. I told her how awkward it is for me to have a female texting her about her problems and him sharing his problems to her as well. She told me repeatedly that they are just like that and she's also talking to other guys just like him. She has another best friend not just my husband. I then asked my husband if they are really best friends and my husband was like no, we're not best friends. and He told me that He isn't attracted to her, he would rather choose someone who's more beautiful to replace me with. He even introduced me to her because I was really worried and so jealous. but then yesterday he changed his phone passcode. He doesn't want me to see his phone. The woman seemed like she is nice and friendly to everyone, but I"m worried that my husband will fall in love with her.
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She told me some of the stories that my husband told her. The things that he's upset with me about. I am not used to this because he is usually a quiet person and doesn't share problems to anybody. I'm very upset and jealous. I don't know how to handle this kind of situation. HE even told me if I don't like what he's doing then I can leave him if I want to.
No, its not okay. If for no other reason than that it makes you uncomfortable. You and your husband should be attempting to resolve your problems in marriage counseling with a licensed, objective and trained professional. In the current situation, either of them, your husband or the other woman, could develop feelings for the other person, its playing with fire. It is also none of her business as to what's going on between you and your husband and its a violation of your privacy. I could think of a few more reasons, that it jeopardizes his position in his workplace, for example, its really bad judgement as well as a betrayal on his part. You should tell him that this has to stop immediately, and make an appointment with a counselor. If he refuses to go, follow through without him. Good luck,
Not in my world, nor a wife or girlfriend to have a male best friend. It doesn't work well for one's purpose being a couple in life. Share common friends, or none at all.
Having a female friend is fine.
BUT Sharing your marriage issues is not.
YOU should be his best friend
There's nothing wrong with men and women being friends. If that were your sole reason for being uncomfortable, I'd tell you to get over it.
But really, you included this: "he would rather choose someone who's more beautiful to replace me with." What. The. Hell. If this story is true, dump the loser and move on.
Leave him. Sounds like he's willing to step out on you. If not with her, with someone else. He most likely is already cheating with her, from what you said. He's getting emotionally attached to another woman and shutting you out! He should be coming to you with his problems. He should be working on fixing his marriage with you, but instead he's running to another woman. Why would he sacrifice his marriage to be "friends" with her? Next thing you know, he'll be packing his bags, leaving you for her. If he isn't sleeping with her, he will be soon. Don't think she won't sleep with your husband just because she seems nice! People can be decieving!
Dude's talking to an empath. She's not his best friend. She has blurry boundaries and is probably well intentioned. Doubt she's a 'threat'.
The bigger problem is that he needs to offload and you're not hearing him. The red flag is that he can't, or thinks he can't, communicate safely with you.
Yes. But your husband sounds like a jerk.
This isn't just a situation where you need to decide about him having a female friend. There are other elements you must consider.
He is not talking to you about things he should be. He has emotionally left the marriage, if he is turning to someone else to discuss the problems you are having. And she is willingly putting herself in between you. It doesn't even matter that they are not in a sexual relationship- he is using her a substitute for the partner he already has- you.
You need to decide whether there is reason to attend couples counseling- what do you want to come out of this? If you want to keep the relationship and you are both willing to do the work, you might get back to communicating with the help of a trained professional. But he would have to disengage from her, and you would have to want to stay with him.
If you don't want that, go get yourself an attorney and talk about what you should do to get a divorce. Because he is no longer relying upon you as a partner, and you deserve to have your life back. He trusts another person outside your marriage, and that is never a good thing.
Hi, I think you are a troll. So, I will write a long answer no troll would read. Are you dumb? Is it ok for your husband to ignore or spit on you? Your husbands job is to love, encourage, listen to, not reject; deny or judge you. That is what a man does for a woman. Then she can give back to him.
LOL he is telling another women what a dumb worthless loser you are (all the things he hates about you). You think that's normal/ok? This woman knows it is your husband. Rather than tell him, no... Walk away, tell you or push him away she spits on you too - LOL. did you see the texts? Is she encouraging him, agreeing you are a loser or being there to support him because you are the worthless wife?
I bet she really enjoyed hearing about how dumb or worthless you are. This is what she needs. The weaker she makes you feel the more confident and secure she feels. "how awkward it is for me to have a female texting her about her", You being intimidated or scared, "VALIDATES" her it proves to her she is better and you will never do anything.
She was quietly creating romantic, intimate or emotional moments with your husband by letting him tell her what a worthless, petty jealous loser you are. (really). Dont be an idiot apologizing to her?
Are you getting other signs/signals your husband is emotionally cheating or having affair? Women are better with this. Are you empath? Is he up longer different hours, out more, pattern change arguments change, intimacy or many things?
IS IT OK FOR HIM TO HAVA A FEMALE BEST FRIEND:
No, don't be stupid. It sounds like they are both having fun here. You need to not be a pus&y and at least try to figure out whats going on. Get a lot more info on her, talk to her nicely, When does she talk to him. No need to fight anyone. But you are the wife here. It is all him both? Talk to one of your friends who understands and make a plan
She probably doesn't want sex with him, she probably just wants his $$$$. He, on the other hand, wants to bust nut with her, big time, since his wife (aka you) doesn't ever give him any. It's simple marriage biology.
