To start off, my boyfriend (of 4 years) doesn't like my mum because of various reasons (the way she treats me etc), although he isn't rude or disrespectful to her you can tell he doesn't like her.
For example if my boyfriend goes to the shop for my mum he will ask her for the money (he will literally ask her for a £1 back) but if it was for my dad or anyone else in my family he would offer to pay for them, similarly he always offers to help my dad with things but never offers my mum.
Both my parents have picked up on this and ***** to me about him, which I hate, they say that I should say something to him and I have in the past but he denies treating my mum differently and says he does like her but some of the stuff she does annoys him. I honestly believe believe him, I don't think he goes out of his way to act like it, I just think she irritates him and he can't hide it. I dislike his mum, she was extremely rude and judgemental to me and is a very selfish person and he knew that I disliked her, but because I treat her the same as everyone else and am respectful and friendly towards her he thinks that I like her now, and I leave it as that.
I just wish that my parents would pretend to like him for my sake and not badmouth him to me, because it hurts my feelings. They do approve of him as they've agreed he treats me like a princess and we are good together but they want him to treat my mum nicer than he does. But what can I do about it?? p.s. we're both 21.
My parents don't like my boyfriend?
2018-08-21 5:20 am
回答 (4)
2018-08-21 5:36 am
A lot of detail in your question, so I’m responding as I read through it.
So your boyfriend isn’t rude or disrespectful … not OBVIOUSLY so. He is petty and he lets his emotions affect how he treats others.
This means that if you two live together, within 1-3 years when the “honeymoon phase” has died out and the problems start and we start to get upset with each other .. then he will be petty with you too.
Not impressive. It is pretty emotionally immature, and that always ends up being a deal-breaker in a committed living-together relationship.
Your parents are wrong. There is nothing to can say to change his behavior. He isn’t even in charge of his own behavior, and he is the only one who can change his emotional habits.
Oh … he denies that he treats your mother differently? That means either that he is lying to you or that he lies to himself.
If he lies to you, understand that trust/honesty are 65% of what makes a relationship work, so any committed relationship with his is already dead in the starting gate.
If he lies to himself, he will never be able to change, never see his mistakes, and he cannot be truthful with you, either.
Your mom irritates him and he cannot work with his own emotions. How is he going to treat you once the problems start?
He treats you like a princess? Bad news. That will not last. And the profile of a wife beater is someone who treats their woman like a princess (until they have been living together a few years) and who also has trouble mastering their own emotional responses.
You are not seeing him clearly. Your parents are.
I side with your parents.
But, like most of us, you will do what you will do .. and will have to learn about mistakes the hard way.
So your boyfriend isn’t rude or disrespectful … not OBVIOUSLY so. He is petty and he lets his emotions affect how he treats others.
This means that if you two live together, within 1-3 years when the “honeymoon phase” has died out and the problems start and we start to get upset with each other .. then he will be petty with you too.
Not impressive. It is pretty emotionally immature, and that always ends up being a deal-breaker in a committed living-together relationship.
Your parents are wrong. There is nothing to can say to change his behavior. He isn’t even in charge of his own behavior, and he is the only one who can change his emotional habits.
Oh … he denies that he treats your mother differently? That means either that he is lying to you or that he lies to himself.
If he lies to you, understand that trust/honesty are 65% of what makes a relationship work, so any committed relationship with his is already dead in the starting gate.
If he lies to himself, he will never be able to change, never see his mistakes, and he cannot be truthful with you, either.
Your mom irritates him and he cannot work with his own emotions. How is he going to treat you once the problems start?
He treats you like a princess? Bad news. That will not last. And the profile of a wife beater is someone who treats their woman like a princess (until they have been living together a few years) and who also has trouble mastering their own emotional responses.
You are not seeing him clearly. Your parents are.
I side with your parents.
But, like most of us, you will do what you will do .. and will have to learn about mistakes the hard way.
2018-08-21 5:23 am
not much you can do, you cant force your parents to like him
2018-08-22 12:08 pm
Your folks likely just don't want to pretend they are eager for you to wed at 21 years of age. They aren't eager for you to wed at 21. And there is zero reason your boyfriend need be picking up the tab for your mom or she cries "I want more" from him.
2018-08-22 5:09 am
THINGS WILL ONLY GET WORSE WITH YOUR MOM AND HIM
收錄日期: 2021-04-24 01:07:39
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