A guy that I've been dating but not officially together for four months told me he likes me, but he doesn't think our relationship will be going anywhere because he doesn't feel the same towards me as he did to all of his exes. He doesn't think he can love me or anyone for now, and he's really doubtful of us getting into a relationship, but he wasn't uncertain like this with his exes and the girls he liked before.
The reason he likes me is because I'm cute, smart, funny, kind etc. We do coupley stuff like talking everyday, sexual things and going on dates. But at the same time he doesn't 'love me' like he could to his exes, and he's really uncertain about us.
Possible reasons that I can think of:
- we are of different ethnicities (he's white and im asian) and we have different social circles, like most of his friends are white and most of mine are asian
- I was quite easy to get bc at first i didn't try to play hard to get at all, I slept over at his house the second time we meet; it was bc i wasn't treating this relationship seriously at first but then i caught feelings for him
- Most of his exes are nerds/ gamers, I'm the complete opposite of a nerd
I asked him before why he 'can't love me', but even he couldn't explain why and he wished he could.
Does anyone have similar experiences? What does he mean by 'liking me but can't love me'? Is there anything I can do to change this?
How can you like someone but 'can't love them'?
2018-08-18 8:16 pm
回答 (4)
2018-08-19 12:14 am
Love is not rational. He's not evaluating options- he's reacting emotionally, and he just doesn't feel that connection with you. There's nothing you can do about that. You can't change who you are. However, I would say that some guy who talks about how much he loved all his exes is probably not a good risk anyway. Why isn't he still with any of them? They must have figured out something about him that you don't know yet. Take it as a warning. Move on and find someone who loves you for you.
2018-08-19 12:07 am
He probably means he's not feeling the attraction toward you he felt with some exes, but comparing you to other girls he's known is totally rude. Why would a guy say this stuff?
If a guy said this shittyShit to me? He would be eating my dust.
There are kinder ways to talk to someone.
If a guy said this shittyShit to me? He would be eating my dust.
There are kinder ways to talk to someone.
2018-08-18 9:51 pm
Sleeping with him on the 2nd date wasn't exactly a good thing. You have been together 4 months, do everything 'official' couples do - but aren't 'officially' together? That's mad. You ARE together and he's now getting a bit fed up because he's got everything he wants and you sound needy because you like him more than he likes you. He talks about how he 'loved' his exes? They are ex for a reason. Maybe he loved them before sex and got fed up afterwards. Sounds like you jumped the gun a bit and gave it to him on a plate. I think the only thing you can do - and it will hurt (but you are hurt already in this one-sided-relationship which he doesn't view as such but you do) - and that is dump him because he's not giving you what YOU want out of the relationship. Together means 'together' - not one person taking what they want while the other does all the giving. Being dumped for a change might actually make him look at you differently.
2018-08-18 8:38 pm
Why don't you love yourself enough to move on and find someone who appreciates you? This guy outright told you that he is only interested in having a good time and is never going to take you seriously. You also suspect he is racist. The fact that the possibility even crossed your mind says a lot about his character and should have been a dealbreaker. Get rid of him and work on your self esteem. It is incredibly sad that you are willing to settle for so little.
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