How do you tell if somebody is homosexual?

2018-06-16 9:51 pm
I was 12 and had this friend for a year who suffered from Autism and I believe Tourette's too. Now I never thought he was gay, he never showed any signs until this one day we were in his room and he insisted that I held his thing because it's "something" friends do. I had to argue with him for 10 minutes about how inappropriate it was and it took him a while to figure out I wasn't gonna do it no matter how pushy he was. After that day I told him over the phone I wouldn't see him again.
So fast forward to 10 years later and with this experience of almost giving in, I just want to from now on be able to know if someone is homosexual so that I can know who to stay away from in case of someone inconsiderate who wants to engage in some inappropriate activity with someone who is straight.
What's really scary is that for an entire year of having him as a close friend I never saw any gayness in him, he seemed like guy who liked masculine stuff he wasn't girly in the slightest. He was definitely strange, he had learning difficulties and had constant ticks and harsh ones too. He would even talk about his interest in girls, lie about having a girlfriend with big boobs. He seemed quite heterosexual to me, and then the last day of seeing him and he insists of me touching his d because apparently it was a thing friends just do.

回答 (5)

2018-06-17 12:06 am
✔ 最佳答案
There's no way to tell, unless you talk to them and ask them.
But you don't need to know. If you're friends with someone and they suggest doing anything sexual at all, all you have to say is, "No, I'm straight'. How difficult would that be? You just refuse.
It's not any different to if you had a female friend and didn't see her as anything more - if such a girl asked you to go to bed with her, you'd just say, 'No, sorry, but I'm not interested in you that way.'
2018-06-16 10:04 pm
You cannot tell whether someone is gay or not without asking them.

But it seems what you are really afraid of is that one day you might agree to do something sexual with a man. It is easy enough to say no. You just say, "I'm sorry but I am not interested in doing that." So if you are afraid you might say yes, it could be because you are gay or bisexual or are willing to experiment. If you want to screen your friends so none of them will proposition you ever, it may be because you do not want to find the truth about yourself.
2018-06-17 12:24 pm
It's usually lot easier for straight guys to say "no" to a gay man than it often is for a woman to say "no" to a straight guy.

It's unusual for a gay guy to persist with someone who isn't interested for that length of time. Most gay guys who propositioned me when I was younger would accept my statement that I was straight as a complete answer and leave it at that. Most gay guys know that if the other guy is interested he'll say "yes" straight away.

In general you don't need to be scared of gay guys. Most gay guys learn to only proposition guys in places where they expect to find other gay guys. Propositioning other men in the general community can lead to violence if the other guy is straight. Your friend took a huge risk approaching you. If you had outed him to the other guys in your school his whole high school career would have been a living hell.

But most women have experienced men who are far more pushy than your friend was. As you're now in your early twenties, how have you behaved towards women whom you are interested in?
2018-06-17 10:36 am
problem is you don't accept that people are not black or white-- i.e. gay or straight. Teen boys especially younger ones tend to be bi-curious due to raging and wildly fluctuating hormones, so your friend may well just have been going through a phase. Sad you cut him off as a friend completely, since you convinced him you were not interested in anything sexual.. Could have continued the friendship. But loads of guys are bi-curious an even experiment, but are not gay. Just figuring out their sexuality and nothing indicates a guy is 'gay" in terms of how they act or how they look or talk. That is a false stereotype.
2018-06-16 10:23 pm
You ask, or they tell you.


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