Help with my wife?
2018-04-21 1:15 am
I just got married to my wife I do love her but her past of sex and drugs does bother me. She has and numberous sex partners men and women. it makes me really sad to think she did the stuff she did because she is such a good person. My question is there anything I can do to overcome it like will time heal it?
回答 (21)
2018-04-21 1:19 am
Why did you marry her if you can't fully accept her past?????
2018-04-21 5:55 am
IMO you need a little marriage counseling. This kind of issue should have been addressed before the marriage between you and her.
2018-04-21 3:38 am
think of the NOW and not the past.......
2018-04-21 10:24 am
Hire someone to have sex with her and see if she enjoys it.
2018-04-21 10:22 pm
Should have thought this over before you married her
2018-04-21 1:58 am
don't you think you should think about that before you tied the nut?
2018-04-21 1:32 am
You should have accepted and moved past this before marriage. It's not going to go away with anything other than time and change of focus.
2018-04-21 4:02 am
Try therapy. YOU made the mistake of marrying someone you didn't accept for who they were, including the past (that you never should've been made aware of). If it bothers you, it's up to YOU to figure out how to deal with it. A therapist can help you work through why it bothers you and then teach you how to deal with those feelings.
What she did in the past, before you two were together, isn't really any of your business...but apparently she chose to share it with you or you found out, and it didn't bother you enough to stop you from marrying her.
What she did in the past, before you two were together, isn't really any of your business...but apparently she chose to share it with you or you found out, and it didn't bother you enough to stop you from marrying her.
2018-04-21 9:00 am
oops this should have been talked ut before marriage. Get couples counseling.
2018-04-21 5:48 am
At some point you decided, " she is a good person".
The past should not be an issue now.
The past should not be an issue now.
2018-04-27 1:22 am
What is in the past is in the past, and it has nothing to do with your wife. This is all YOUR problem. I'm sure she would love to change the past, but as that can't happen, there's nothing either one of you can do about it. So you need to get over your insecurities about her past, and move on with the future together. If you can't get over something that happened before the two of you were together, then I suggest you seek some therapy, because if people were blamed for their past by their future spouses, then our society would be in even worse shape than it is now.
2018-04-23 11:42 am
If you can't get over her past, leave and let someone else love her the way she deserves to be loved.
2018-04-23 9:37 am
Believe in Jesus Christ and you shall have everlasting life! Jesus loves you! Get a king james bible and believe.
Read Matthew.
Read 1 John chapter 4.
Read Ephesians chapter 2,5.
Read Acts chapter 4.
Read 2 Peter chapter 3.
Read Genesis chapter 2.
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;
To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation."- 2 Corinthians chapter 5 verses 17 to 19.
https://youtu.be/Z3c2hFOaRRQ
Read Matthew.
Read 1 John chapter 4.
Read Ephesians chapter 2,5.
Read Acts chapter 4.
Read 2 Peter chapter 3.
Read Genesis chapter 2.
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;
To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation."- 2 Corinthians chapter 5 verses 17 to 19.
https://youtu.be/Z3c2hFOaRRQ
2018-04-23 4:41 am
The fact of what she did can't be changed, so I suggest you to see a therapist either on your own or with your wife. It's important for your wife to know what's going on with your life since you are both in it now, so I suggest you to talk to your wife as well.
I think your wife will be offended though because you getting married to her means you have accepted her as who she is. It's kind of too late to complain about it but I agree that it's a good idea for you to find ways to cope with it.
Good luck!
I think your wife will be offended though because you getting married to her means you have accepted her as who she is. It's kind of too late to complain about it but I agree that it's a good idea for you to find ways to cope with it.
Good luck!
2018-04-22 10:36 pm
You made a mistake marrying her! If you can’t get past her fluent sexual behavior why marry her. Waste of time
2018-04-22 8:04 pm
You should stick to "she is such a good person" and leave the rest in the past because that is where it belongs.
2018-04-22 3:49 pm
just enjoy
2018-04-22 12:49 pm
Something you should have considered before saying I do all you could do now is maybe look at divorce or annulment if possible simply put sounds like you cannot handle her past baggage. The reality is when you found this out to begin with you could have said yeah not going to work goodbye but you went ahead and married her kind of foolish don't you think?. The actuality is most men and woman have tried drugs even just pot and had a few sexual partners prior to settling down with the one person sort of thing so even if you ended things with her chances are the next woman you meet could have the same background since it is quite common. Sex and drugs add rock and roll and that is how most people have lived since the 50s. I think it is just time to get over it make sure you both get checked out so no strange STD's raise their head and make you question her faithfulness too you.
Everyone has a past and baggage sometimes it may seem a little scary this sounds rather normal too me.
Everyone has a past and baggage sometimes it may seem a little scary this sounds rather normal too me.
2018-04-22 4:20 am
You can't dwell on the past... You two need to make you own memories... travel, do things, enjoy life, fulfill a bucket list. Build up memories of a fulfilled and memorable life which makes all the stuff in the past just seem like a faded dream.
2018-04-21 6:56 pm
"My question is there anything I can do to overcome it like will time heal it?" How? You focus on how she is now. You focus on how she is with you. YOU don't allow that past that she has put behind her to interfere with your future.
Or you can choose not to do any of that, dwell on what can't be changed and ruin what you have with her.
Your choices and actions from here on will affect the outcome
Or you can choose not to do any of that, dwell on what can't be changed and ruin what you have with her.
Your choices and actions from here on will affect the outcome
2018-04-21 4:15 pm
The alternative is to leave her and not deal with HER past. Seriously dude, stop being a jerk about something that you had nothing to do with and that you were not even a part of. If she didn't go through with what she did she wouldn't have met you. You might be putting your marriage in jeopardy so pull your head in.
2018-04-21 2:54 pm
So why marry her if you have doubts, end of the day we all have a past you can’t go back and change it what matters is the here a now, if she’s loyal not got any unwanted issues and she’s not infected with anything and not selling your tv for a fix and she’s genuinely changed then get over it,as you say she’s a lovely person there is probably genuine reasons she did what she did maybe she hit a bad time in life and didn’t know how to deal with it, she’ll no doubt feel bad enough over it anyway and it’d probably crush her to know you feel this way,if you love her and you know she’s changed then enjoy your future with her she’s the person she is now not the one she was then, I had a similiar problem mine and my partners pasts aren’t rosey but we are strong and happy now,
2018-04-21 3:01 am
Counseling -- both individual for you and couples for the two of you. There is NOTHING you can do to change history. You can get therapy to figure out WHY it bothers you and how you can heal yourself so that her past doesn't throw a shadow on your future.
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