急! 請高手幫手睇下封推薦信有無問題,感恩.?

3rd case

括符內文字為修正處

To (whom It may concern)請注意大小寫

I would like to recommend “name”, “name”(was) an outstanding (member of the “Company name”), (and) she (had been worked) in our office from”date”to date..
註：
1.依據最後一段文字It was regrettable to see her leave,…..，她應已離開原公司。
2.上段如是在介紹她在原公司的表現，要表達的意思是”她是某公司出色的員工”，建議文字改成上列，如”company name”是未來的公司，說她是傑出的公司任用人選，不是很合適，畢竟同時來競爭職位的人，好手大有人在，在未經比較下，如何斷言”傑出”?
3.如本段是在說”她是未來公司幕僚人員的傑出人選，原文也應寫she (is) an outstanding……”她是”，不應寫成she as an…… “她身為……..”如此獨斷自認的文字。

During (she was working for) “Company name”(as an accountant), all of Debbie's responsibilities (should) were based on the office's standards and procedures (absolutely), and she (never neglected). Her interpersonal and communication skills (were) excellent, and she (was) the most organized person (who) I (had ever worked) with. Needless to say, the job requirements (for) an accounting clerk enabled her to work independently (without) too much supervision.

“name”(was) responsible for some paperwork and administrative responsibilities, including organizing and updating case files, identifying where and how to submit records, retrieving data when necessary, preparing documents and arranging for a large number of (mailing) ( and刪去前面的逗點) doing a good job of replacing her work task.

It was regrettable to see her leave, but if she had another chance, she could show her expectations (to) a company that need(s) her services. (and) I wish her (to have) all the best in the future.
依據本段，她應已離開公司，故前面之各段相關文字應改為過去式。

To whom it may concern, Miss Debbie had been my employee for over 10 years and she is now working as an accounting clerk. At present, her responsibilities are based on the office's routine and procedures first Her interpersonal and communication skills are excellent, and she is the most organized person I have the opportunity to work with. Needless to say, the job requirements as an accounting clerk enabled her to work independently and without too much supervision. In addition, she is responsible for some paperwork and administrative responsibilities, including organizing and updating case files, identifying where and how to submit records, retrieving data when necessary, preparing documents and arranging for a large number of mailings, and doing a good job of replacing her work task.
It was regrettable to see her leave, but if she had another chance, she could show her expectations for a company that need her services. I wish her all the best in the future.

問題很多
To Whom It May Concern
I would like to recommend “Name”, “name”, as an outstanding candidate for the “Company name” staff. She works(看起來她在你公司服務過一段期間，現在已離開，故用現在式不對，可用過去完成式had worked) in our office(office指辦公環境，如是否需增加一台冷氣機等議題，既是寫推薦信當然是寫出公司名稱與任職期間，在此in our office改為at our company for N years from ”Date” (改為from “Date1” to “Date2”).
During her works(改為過去式During the period she worked) on “Company name”, all of Debbie's responsibilities were based on the office's standards and procedures first, and she had never neglected(翻譯出來 – 她的責任都是依據辦公室標準與程序 – 語義不明 – 改成he completed all his jobs according to the company’s SOP). Her interpersonal and communication skills are excellent, and she is the most organized person I have the opportunity to work with (have the opportunity to work with聽起來像她是你的先進，有點怪，改成have ever worked with 比較務實). Needless to say, the job requirements(job requirements – 任職條件，通常是任職前的事，在此改成her job) as an accounting clerk enabled her to work independently and without too much supervision(作會計使她能夠獨立作業並不需太多監督 – 不懂是什意思?).
“name” is responsible for some paperwork and administrative responsibilities(由後述來看and administrative responsibilities為多餘), including organizing and updating case files, identifying where and how to submit records, retrieving data when necessary, preparing documents and arranging for a large number of mailings(mailing 改為mailing lists, 這些工作很像秘書事務，與之前所述會計不同，自己改), and doing a good job of replacing her work task(replacing her work task像是調整職務內容，寫的怪，故and doing a good job of replacing her work task, 改成passing along good knowledge to her successor – 工作交接上指導接手者很多知識).
It was regrettable to see her leave, but if she had (很可能發生的事，if條件句，用現在式，故改為if she has) another(字意為除已知的一個外，另外的一個，故改為a) chance (+ to show her comprehensive skills), she could show her expectations for a company that need her services(句意不順，改為she could contribute her skills to the company that hires her). I wish her all the best in the future.

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第三个

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