The shame of boys mocking my changing body and then girls exiling me for, ironically, my interest in boys, it was so much.
I didn't have any language for what I was experiencing; I didn't know it was going to pass.
So I did the best thing I could at the time and I checked out(辦完事就摔掉對方???).
And you can't isolate just the difficult feelings, so I lost access to the joy, the pleasure, the play, and I spent decades like that, with this his (這裡為什麼要用整篇文章都未直接提及的his – 我自己猜是她男友???) low-grade depression, thinking that this is what it meant to be a grown-up.
For the past year, I've been interviewing men and women about their relationship to sex and I've heard my story again and again. Girls who were told they were too sensitive, too much.
Boys who were taught to man up -- "don't be so emotional."
I learned I was not alone in checking out.
更新1:
check o額ut 好像是選擇對方,對否?