what can I do now?

You sound depressed. If you were not so depressed you would not feel so defeated, or useless. The world is filled with joy and happiness and things to get interested in, and depression darkens your mind, and makes all seem quite useless. Do get into therapy with a psychologist or counselor who can help you out of this present darkness.

Short answer. You might be depressed. I've written a lot of depression answers, with advice from experts, including information about standard treatments and self-help.Just click on my name and read.

Slightly longer answer. Look all over. You should be able to find at least one thing that you find fun or interesting, maybe your favorite music or movie. If you can find one movie you like, watch it once or twice. Then, find movies that are like it some way, maybe similar stories or the same actor. Keep adding to your entertainment supply and giving it variety, If all else fails, a brisk walk around the block should lift your spirits, A hobby is good but remember to get enough exercise outside in the fresh air and sunlight. This is especially good with friends or family members.

Really long answer rated Best, 5 stars by a really bored person

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20171108104001AAucD7O

play star wars the old republic and become a jedi knight. you will have companions so you wont be alone you can also chat online with friends and other players in spare time speak to your friends and family, and if you have time study or work. study the subject you like, select the job you want. live a brilliant life there you go.