[Chinese] can you check if this is grammatically correct?

"I am a Pussy"..,,,that is what I read

尊敬的X(尊敬的X ==> X先生您好)，我读过您的Y小说之后特别喜欢它，请问您能允许我把它翻译成Z吗？我不会用(我的翻译作为商业行为) ，如果我打扰到您，请原谅。谢谢。
Basically, “敬愛”, which means “尊敬愛戴”, is better than “尊敬”; but unless you really have such feeling, I don’t think you need to write in such flattering way. And it’s indeed; 40 ~ 60 years ago, we were taught to write these kinds of words very often.
“我的翻译作为商业行为” which means to use my translation as a commercial behavior to earn money. – this is just what I guess you want to say.
Lastly, your Chinese writing is good.