求職信-求幫忙修正英文文法?

I am Jacky Tin and would like to apply for the post of Financial Officer in your company. I have worked for 3 years as Assistant Officer in Credit Management Department in XXX Company and currently, I have been working as Officer in Treasury of YYY company and more than that undertaking a CILT and targeted to be completed in the first half of 2018..So, I believe that I will be qualified for this post. In addition, a testimonial is enclosed for my reference.
I can be reached via the following: Address or telephone. Yip

I am Jacky Tin . I am writing this letter (--)to express my interest in applying the position of Financial Officer.I have worked for 3 years as Assistant Officer in Credit Management field in XXX Company. I am currently working as an Officer in Treasury in YYY Company, undertaking a CILT targeted to be completed in the first half 2018.I believe I am a competent,authorative candidate to do what is needed for this position (----).
(My former colleague,Terry,who works in YYY Company,has kindly consented, to be my referee for excellent references)

I can be reached via the following business address.....
Relationship:----"My former colleague at XXX company,Terry,has kindly accepted to be my referee for reference"

括符內文字為修正處

I am Jacky Tin. I am writing this letter to (apply for) the position of ( f)inancial (o)fficer (of your company). I (had been) worked for 3 years as (an) (a)ssist(a)nt (o)fficer in (the) Credit Management field (of) XXX Co(m)pany. (Currently,) I am working as (an) (o)fficer (for the) Treasury (of) YYY (C)ompany (and) I am undertaking a CILT(now,)( which is targeted) to be completed in the first half of 2018. I believe that I am (an exactly capable and qualified) candidate for this position.

I can be reached via the following:
(I can be reached at 地址、信箱或電話)


a former colleague at XXX Company(曾共事過之公司名稱)
Terry who was a former colleague (of mine此兩字可省略) at XXX Company
或Terry, a former colleague at XXX Company