My Siamese is Driving Me Crazy How Do I Get Him To Behave?

He is being a Siamese - and that is why so many of them end up in rescue in the first place. They are vocal (meaning quite noisy), active (meaning in to absolutely everything), smart (meaning nothing is safe), and relentless. You do not get him to 'behave' as in expecting him to be sedate. What you see from him is how he is. There are a few things you can try - one to put double sided tape on the TV console so when he jumps on it he will very unhappy about the tape and hopefully decide to stay off. Get him a sturdy piece of cat furniture with at least three levels and put it in your sunniest window. Play with him twice a day with a wand toy (and put it away when you are not playing). Two fabulous ones are Feline Flyer and da Bird. Great toys. Get him a puzzle toy - one of the treat balls you put dry food inside. (although mine have figured out how to open the ball and just eat the treats). One of the best 'toys' for a cat is another cat - do you have room for more than one? This is why breeds are best suited to breed specific rescue as they are placed into homes that better understand the breed and their special behaviors.

Off topic but not really - can you feed a better quality food? Siamese are very sensitive to corn, and that is what the main ingredient is in the Cat Chow. Ideally you would feed canned, but at least get him a better quality dry where the first ingredients aren't by-products (crap condemned from the human food chain) and corn :(

We have 3 Siamese here, and two Orientals. I have two Siamese foster cats as well.

Well first off stop calling him a Siamese. You have a domestic shorthair like over 97% of cats. Just having pointed markings doesn't make a cat a Siamese.

First off you're feeding this cat complete CRAP. Cat Chow is made mostly of corn and with ZERO real meat. So your poor cat is probably STARVING it's eating such ****! Switch to a food made with real meat and grain free - like Blue Buffalo Wilderness. Also give this poor cat some quality canned food every day.

Secondly, this cat is BORED. What sort of toy are you using? Best are lure toys that you can wave around and the cat can chase, jump at, attack. You should also have one or more cat perches in front of windows that the cat can climb and perch on.

Probably the best thing for this cat if you can afford to care for two cats (not evident here when you're feeding it such crappy food) is to get him a friend. Adopt an adult cat from a shelter for him to play with.

As for the TV why do you not have it mounted on the wall instead?

edit: "So I just adopted a neutered siamese mix" as I suspected - why are you calling this cat a Siamese when it isn't one? It's also not likely a mix with so few cats a breed and kittens most often sold altered. Millions of domestics like your cat have pointed markings. They're the cats breeds came from not the other way around.

You've only only had this cat a MONTH. The poor thing could have been at the shelter for awhile and stuck in a small cage. It's got energy to burn! Stop bitching about it and feed it better and give it more attention. And then if you still think it's as horrible as you make it out here then give it back to the shelter.

It sounds like you have chosen a breed you were not really prepared for. Your cat is simply being a Siamese cat. "Vocal breed" does not mean only when YOU want to have a conversation. Cats keep their own hours & do what they want to when they want to.
Wear him out before bedtime then give him a big meal.
As far as the 5 AM meowing goes, he has you trained to get up & play with him. My suggestion would be to put him out of your room & close the door. You may want to put him in another room during sleeping hours to keep him from scratching at your door. Make his night area cosy & fun for him. Put toys in there he only gets to play with at night. You will have to be consistent. He will eventually get used to this arrangement. Get some ear plugs if need be.
He needs to have plenty of vertical areas to climb. Give him things that are more interesting to him to climb than the TV. I'd start with a tall cat tree. Put it next to book shelves ot something like that & go from there. Fix him up an area in front od a sunny window so he can bird watch. I have three big cat trees & several large, heavy duty scratchers in my home & my cats use them all