How do you help an alcoholic parent who doesn't want help?
2017-05-06 2:21 am
My father lost his job 10 years ago. He has not worked since then. He has a nice job and was fairly wealthy. About a year after he lost his job my mother and father divorced. Since then he has slowly declined into a major depression and his drinking is worse then ever. He has been living off of all his savings which is about to only $500 now. He has been in and out of the hospital from injuries caused by his drinking. Most recently he was in the hospital for a week withdrawing. Then about a month after that he was throwing up so bad he needed emergency hernia surgery. We do not have a great relationship, but I have always been there. I try and see him at least once a week and do dinner. He lives alone we knew he was drinking but didn't know it was that bad. This past year he stopped drinking beer and went straight to whiskey. His money is almost out, he dropped his health insurance, and doesn't really have any friends or family near. When I ask him about the drinking he says he is not a alcoholic but a binge drinker. He doesn't want to go to AA. A day after he was home from his surgery from the hernia he was drinking again saying he was "weaning" himself off. He talks about getting help, he talks about moving back home to family, he talks about getting a job, and does not follow through. The last time we talked we had plans to make plan for his future and to better himself and he ditched me. It got really ugly with me getting really upset. I then said we are going to sit down and talk today or I am done and taking a break from you. And that is where it is at. I have not talked to him in two weeks. His mother calls him and checks in, but he is a compulsive liar. He is 57 and I am 23. Anyone in a situation kind of like this? I do not know much about addiction to alcohol. I don't know what to do now. He doesn't show he wants help so I am at the point of walking away and saying my goodbyes. The doctors say he only has about a year to live if he keeps drinking because his liver is bad. Any opinions, thoughts, guidance... would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
回答 (6)
2017-05-06 3:24 am
Yes, you should contact Al-Anon, for the best possible support and guidance with this tragic and difficult situation. You CANNOT help him. He has to choose to seek help, or suffer the consequences, which ultimately may mean an early death. The best you can do is to tell him how you feel, what you would wish for him, and to support any positive steps he may choose to take. But he is so bad off, so alcoholic, that he may not be able to do much of anything without first being detoxed and receiving further professional interventions. Meanwhile, the other thing I would tell you is to take care of yourself. Face and accept what you cannot do, focus on anything you can do that would be meaningful for him, and work on letting the rest go, while preserving your own well being . Good luck, good wishes !
2017-05-06 2:40 am
2017-05-06 2:36 am
My father is and has always been an alcoholic. When he and my mother divorced and he moved out was the happiest day of my life - i got so tired of them arguing and physically fighting all the time. He is now 72, starts drinking from 7 am when he wakes up. Drinks a bottle of vodka a day. By 2 pm i can not talk to him he is so drunk. Healthy like a bull. So what can i tell u - leave him alone. He is what he is, he is an adult and he has the life he chose. U re not going to change him, neither it is your aim in life. Quit arguing and let an old man be. I m 47, so i know better than u
2017-05-06 2:24 am
you need to go to al-anon as they can really help you.
2017-05-08 11:01 am
you cant change someone that dont want to change, all you can do is pray god changes him
2017-05-06 2:22 am
No
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