My boyfriend felt me up?
2017-04-01 11:15 pm
So me and this guy have had a thing for like two months, and last night we were with all our friends and he was being all cute and romantic. One of my drunk friends (neither him nor I were drinking) told me that before I got there she told him to feel me up. They've been helping us move stages for a while. Anyway, they all leave around midnight (which is when I really should have left) but he asks me to stay. We cuddle lying down on the couch and I even fall asleep on him around 1am. Then he asks me what we are and we decide to be dating. It's around 1:30 and I tell him I really have to go but he hugs me close and kisses me. That turns into a make out session and within like twenty minutes his hand is under my bra and feeling me up. I was totally fine with it. It felt right, but do you think it's too soon? We've been a thing for two months but we had JUST started dating and I've never even had a boyfriend before. We're both 18 by the way. Thanks!!
回答 (1)
2017-04-02 1:37 am
Sorry but it is too soon - save all of this stuff for your husband. If you do, you will never regret it. Your boyfriend showed disrespect for you and respect is one of the keys to a long lasting relationship.
Here’s some information about sex before marriage from the books True Love Lasts, Straight Talk About Teen Dating, and Straight Talk About Dating:
Having sex before marriage can be harmful to you and to your future. This harm could possibly include things like:
- not feeling good about yourself
- finding out that having sex causes people to become emotionally attached way too quickly
- sex becoming the main focus of your relationship
- finding out that having sex makes people ignore serious problems in the person they’re dating - serious problems that could destroy a marriage
- failing to realize that dating relationships which have sex as their main focus usually don’t last - until the relationship falls apart
- not learning to have real communication with each other, to be in touch with the your positive and negative feelings and the feelings of your significant other, to resolve conflicts in a calm constructive manner, to really get to know what your significant other is like in all situations because you’re spending too much time having sex
- not feeling good about choosing to have sex after your boyfriend or girlfriend says “I love you” and then later finding out he or she was lying to you just to get sex or he or she just has the feeling of being “in love” instead of true love (true love is supposed to be a lifelong commitment)
- feeling that you need to keep having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend or else they’ll break up with you - even though you don’t feel good about it
- finding out that having sex makes people stay in dating relationships much longer than they should
- making the bad choice to stay in a relationship that you know isn’t good for you because you’re having sex
- being broken hearted after your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you
- becoming an angry person after having your heart broken
- becoming depressed or possibly even suicidal after having your heart broken (please see a professional counselor immediately if you feel depressed or suicidal)
- feeling that you can’t trust anyone anymore after you’ve had your heart broken
- feeling horrible that you broke your boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart when you broke up with them
- getting into the habit of jumping from one sexual relationship to another looking for true love and sadly never finding it
- getting a sexually transmitted disease
- getting pregnant
- becoming a single mother (guys often don’t marry their pregnant girlfriends)
- having a child who doesn’t have a stable male role model in their life
- becoming more hesitant about making a lifelong marriage commitment to another person after having your heart broken
- ending up having problems relating sexually to your husband or wife in marriage because of the sex you had with them (and possibly with others) before marriage
- becoming divorced (statistics show that couples who have sex before marriage are more likely to get divorced than couples who don’t have sex before marriage)
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money). A strong person isn't overly concerned with what weak mean people say, do, or think.
My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), break up with this guy in a kind way because he has shown you that he's not a strong person and that he's not willing to save himself for marriage, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS The best way to get to know a strong man without dating is to participate in the activities of a community service or a school organization.
Here’s some information about sex before marriage from the books True Love Lasts, Straight Talk About Teen Dating, and Straight Talk About Dating:
Having sex before marriage can be harmful to you and to your future. This harm could possibly include things like:
- not feeling good about yourself
- finding out that having sex causes people to become emotionally attached way too quickly
- sex becoming the main focus of your relationship
- finding out that having sex makes people ignore serious problems in the person they’re dating - serious problems that could destroy a marriage
- failing to realize that dating relationships which have sex as their main focus usually don’t last - until the relationship falls apart
- not learning to have real communication with each other, to be in touch with the your positive and negative feelings and the feelings of your significant other, to resolve conflicts in a calm constructive manner, to really get to know what your significant other is like in all situations because you’re spending too much time having sex
- not feeling good about choosing to have sex after your boyfriend or girlfriend says “I love you” and then later finding out he or she was lying to you just to get sex or he or she just has the feeling of being “in love” instead of true love (true love is supposed to be a lifelong commitment)
- feeling that you need to keep having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend or else they’ll break up with you - even though you don’t feel good about it
- finding out that having sex makes people stay in dating relationships much longer than they should
- making the bad choice to stay in a relationship that you know isn’t good for you because you’re having sex
- being broken hearted after your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you
- becoming an angry person after having your heart broken
- becoming depressed or possibly even suicidal after having your heart broken (please see a professional counselor immediately if you feel depressed or suicidal)
- feeling that you can’t trust anyone anymore after you’ve had your heart broken
- feeling horrible that you broke your boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart when you broke up with them
- getting into the habit of jumping from one sexual relationship to another looking for true love and sadly never finding it
- getting a sexually transmitted disease
- getting pregnant
- becoming a single mother (guys often don’t marry their pregnant girlfriends)
- having a child who doesn’t have a stable male role model in their life
- becoming more hesitant about making a lifelong marriage commitment to another person after having your heart broken
- ending up having problems relating sexually to your husband or wife in marriage because of the sex you had with them (and possibly with others) before marriage
- becoming divorced (statistics show that couples who have sex before marriage are more likely to get divorced than couples who don’t have sex before marriage)
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money). A strong person isn't overly concerned with what weak mean people say, do, or think.
My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), break up with this guy in a kind way because he has shown you that he's not a strong person and that he's not willing to save himself for marriage, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS The best way to get to know a strong man without dating is to participate in the activities of a community service or a school organization.
參考: True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults,
Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
收錄日期: 2021-04-24 00:24:35
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