How would you explain all the complexities and nuances of Chinese characters in the most brief and simple way possible?

What a stupid question.

Simply put, for someone who know none of the English, in less a period of time, he or she might learn all the 26 alphabets and some easy sentences to have a basic ability to say some simple sentences. As to learning Chinese, it would be much difficult to learn Pinyin and just few Chinese words than before, I think more time is needed to learn it well.
I am an English learner.

China attacks Russia on November 2nd.
Russia splits China in half;
radiation kills Chinese.
Good-bye, China!