Should I kill myself? (No national Suicide Prevention Lifeline stuff)?

Yes

First thing is, it is too expensive. Because, when you kill yourself, you do not want to molest other people. So jumping from a high building or before a train is not an option, you want it to look nice anyway, because, if you die, you want to do it with some style. So poison also is not an option, you won't notice it, but it makes you vomit shortly before you die and make your face look bizarre. That can't be how you wish people should find you.

What's left then? A bullet through the head? You may try, but mind the repercussion. It's almost impossible that you shoot yourself through the head, as the repercussion blows your hand away before the bullet leaves the barrel. You may end up as a mentally impaired vegetable, but that's all you can do with a bullet.

I'm running out of ideas now, and I think I'll have a beer and a cigarette. Here in Europe, there are warnings on every pack of cigarettes, one of them reads, "Smoking is deadly". Yes, life is, too. But I'll take my time, I can wait.

Only you can decide if suicide is your best option. If you decide it is you only need to decide on the how, when, and where. I would take my time with that because you want to be a success at this. Wrap up your affairs by making funeral plans and leaving a will. Make a list of all your online accounts so the police can access these if needed. Your next of kin will find this list invaluable when they go to close your accounts. Be considerate of those that have to clean up the mess you leave behind. Make sure the following items are readily to make it easier on the police: your suicide note or video, if you are going to leave one, your next of kin contact information, and your photo ID. I would call your local emergency number and let them know what you are doing, why you are doing it, and where to pick up your dead body. Hopefully emergency services will be able to get to it before someone else stumbles upon it by accident.