Engagement problems. Should I leave her?
2017-03-18 2:43 am
I have been noticing some things that might hinder my marriage with my fiancee. I don't know if I should leave her. The first thing I noticed is when she gets really upset emotionally, she actually hits me physically. She doesn't do that much but she hit me 3 times now when she gets upset. She is much smaller than me and I usually block her abuse but should I be worried about this? She apologized and said she will never do that again. The next thing is she is not financially secure. She doesn't have much money saved up and she is planning to move into my purchased condo once married. I told her she can't move into my place after marriage and I would rather rent or buy a place together because I don't want her having custody of the condo I purchased myself after marriage. I'd rather start fresh and WE rent or buy a place together so I don't risk the condo I bought myself in case we do get divorced. She is making a big fight out of this and told her parents and her parents think that she should move into my current place after marriage even though I owned it before marrying her. But I don't want to do that. I'd rather her sign prenup papers for just the condo I purchased myself but she doesn't want to do that and she insists on living in my condo. I even told her if we rent I would pay for the rent for a bit until she is established but she doesn't want to do that. Please what should I do.. should I just let her move in with me or are these red flags?
回答 (13)
2017-03-18 3:33 am
It doesn't matter what other people think. If these issues bother you (and apparently they do or you wouldn't be posting), then these issues are RED FLAGS.
Small disagreements prior to marriage can become BIG PROBLEMS once married.
You should consider moving on and finding someone more compatible with your ideas.
Small disagreements prior to marriage can become BIG PROBLEMS once married.
You should consider moving on and finding someone more compatible with your ideas.
2017-03-18 2:59 am
This is a BIG red flag. If you are having doubts about marrying her, then you do not need to get married. Let me tell you, 95% of the people I know who had doubts before marriage, got divorced and completely regret not listening to their instincts. Your fiancee sounds abusive, controlling, and she sounds like a mooch. I would end things, and give her the same reasons you listed here. Do not let her beg to have you back. If she's willing to put her hands on you in an abusive manner, then she does not respect you. I would NEVER physically assault my partner. I have so much respect for any lover I become involved with. If they didn't want me to live in their house, then I would accept that and not argue about it. That is YOUR condo, and you have every right to feel the way you do.
EDIT: With that being said, it is more than appropriate to allow your partner to move in with you once married. But this woman is not a good partner. If she's already assaulting you, I can only imagine how bad things will get once you're married. Trust your instincts. Good luck.
EDIT: With that being said, it is more than appropriate to allow your partner to move in with you once married. But this woman is not a good partner. If she's already assaulting you, I can only imagine how bad things will get once you're married. Trust your instincts. Good luck.
2017-03-18 8:13 am
You don't sound remotely interested in being married. You don't sound like marriage material either. Lots of issues going on here.
2017-03-18 3:11 am
You aren't ready to commit (the part about the condo), and she isn't anyone you should breed with (the physical abuse).
Break it off, and don't ask anyone to marry you again, until you are ready to throw everything you have into the marriage. If you are thinking of keeping a condo just in case, it's not working.
Break it off, and don't ask anyone to marry you again, until you are ready to throw everything you have into the marriage. If you are thinking of keeping a condo just in case, it's not working.
2017-03-18 3:36 am
Yes. You have trust issues
2017-03-18 2:01 pm
sounds like you both have you're own issues and shouldn't be married...lot's of red flags on both parts
2017-03-18 4:32 am
Yes.
2017-03-18 3:45 am
RUN! She's an abuser and gets off on the fact that she can do it to you. Don't wait for the next hit - it will come. She doesn't deserve an explanation. Just get out of that relationship.
2017-03-18 3:40 am
Heed the red flags. They mean stop.
2017-03-19 8:02 pm
Dude dont listen to anyone, this gurl is crazy and i mean dont marry her all the signs are there. Shes violent, has anger issues, gold digger, finacially unstable, no goals in life etc. where are you two heading after marriage? If you own those assets they are yours not hers. She cannot just demand those things if yours even if shes going to marry you thats what they called 'entitled'. If you put all the peices together it sounds like your going to marry a spoilt kid not and independent women. Then weigh what you two are bringing to the table. If you two are mature and independent then she shouldnt feel as though whats yours belongs to her without even giving anything to you. I run my own business im self-created but id never let a women think that her useless 'looks' can take everything ive worked for.
2017-03-18 3:43 am
no, don't let her, she sounds like a gold digger, and with that rocky start, it's a guaranteed you will be screwed
2017-03-27 9:10 pm
sounds like you both have you're own issues and shouldn't be married.........lot's of red flags on both parts
2017-03-18 12:54 pm
I would hit you every day, lol
Just kidding, your gf should not hit you she needs therapy. However a slap when she's upset is not reason for a man to leave a woman, if she agrees to therapy, she cannot do any damage. Not unless you yourself have specific trauma and issues that her abusive behaviour will trigger. This is nothing like a man hitting a woman or adults hitting children.
if she will not agree to therapy than yes you have to leave her, she cannot hit her partner when she's upset, it's abusive and sick.
However, she is only with you cos she has issues you sound like a crappy partner.
You should not even be married or in a relationship as the point of a relationships is selfless sharing and you are a petty, annoying, silly person unable to share.
So chances are if she does get that therapy she will not only stop hitting you but muster up enough sense to leave you.
Just kidding, your gf should not hit you she needs therapy. However a slap when she's upset is not reason for a man to leave a woman, if she agrees to therapy, she cannot do any damage. Not unless you yourself have specific trauma and issues that her abusive behaviour will trigger. This is nothing like a man hitting a woman or adults hitting children.
if she will not agree to therapy than yes you have to leave her, she cannot hit her partner when she's upset, it's abusive and sick.
However, she is only with you cos she has issues you sound like a crappy partner.
You should not even be married or in a relationship as the point of a relationships is selfless sharing and you are a petty, annoying, silly person unable to share.
So chances are if she does get that therapy she will not only stop hitting you but muster up enough sense to leave you.
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