Husband of 3 years says he s not ready for a relationship, then leaves?

Yes youve missed that his actions is for freedom to be with someone else. Saying that he isnt ready was just an excuse/reason why he left and to pacify her.

Yeah, you and your friend are missing something. "Not ready for a relationship" was just an excuse because he felt like he needed to say something. What it sounds like (and I may be wrong) is that he's no longer desirous of being married...he may even have found someone else to "play: with).

It doesn't take someone 3 years to figure out they aren't "ready for a relationship", especially since the couple had a relationship while they were dating, before marriage.

I think that's a cowardly way to say "I think I made a mistake".

Happens all the time. My wife and I had neighbours like that. One day the guy said to his partner "I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this"... and he left, just like that.

They sold their townhouse and that was that.

he has a new woman...

He's boning some chick and hasn't the balls to tell his wife, that's men all over.

If he left in the middle of the night, he had somewhere to go. Another woman's house. Let him go. Good riddance!

He's got a new gf.

"No one knows what goes on behind closed doors" or so the song says. The truth of it is, while your friend is saying that this came totally out of the blue, chances are there WERE signs that things were going off the rails and she either didn't recognise them, or chose to ignore them. It could be he fought to hide it too. Who knows?
What his "reasoning" is, we can take a guess at, but that's all it would be. Some possiblities -
He has another relationship, or is looking towards one, and didn't want to feel like a cheat. OR he feels SHE is too involved elsewhere and wants out.
He is gay, and didn't want to admit it, either to her or himself.
Their relationship was rocky - for whatever reason - and he's simply had enough. Maybe there were unresolved issues there that he no longer wanted to try and deal with.
Mid-life crisis - doesn't know what he wants, but just knows he is unhappy, and thinks maybe a change will bring him what he seeks.
Marriage isn't turning out to be what he thought it was supposed to be, and he wants out.
He is out of love for her, and doesn't know how to tell her so.
He is feeling overwhelmed at the moment and can't see a way through it, so leaves.
Maybe he feels they got together too young and he wants the chance to experience what he thinks he has missed out on. Wants to try out new things and she doesn't.
Maybe the fizz and sparkle is gone from the relationship and he's feeling bored or alone.
Maybe there's someone else - family, friends - who's been in his ear and stirred up some trouble or resentment.
Could be there's some issues or fighting about something huge like having children, finances, life goals, whatever that has him rethinking the whole relationship.
"Am I missing something here?" Yes. The other side of the story. Your friend may not be telling you the whole truth (few would admit things that put them in a bad light) or she simply not know the whole truth.

Q: Am I missing something here?

A: Yes - his side of the story.

"...why would a man marry someone if he s
not ready for that kind of commitment? ..." --
People make stupid decision ALL the time.
Why is this hard for you to grasp?

I am so sorry that your friend is going through this. As to why? Well, funny but for the same reasons that so many of you females act and do the exact same thing I would have to say. It is all about a person wanting what they want and not caring about the vows they took and not caring about what is right, the commitments they made or so on. Basically, selfishness is how I term it.

And to be honest with you, I have a hard time being but so sympathetic to your friend, especially with all the feminism, women rights, politicaly correctness and so on that is so previlent in our society today. Just think about it for a moment and you will have to concede my point. Your only problem with any of this is:
1. It is your friend
2. A female is now dealing with the same thing they so often cause or bring about.

A lot of us have been continually warning the rest of you that this is the kind of stuff you should learn to expect and that you really cannot be but so mad when what you advocate and support suddenly turns and burns your ***. For things are no less wrong when you do it to someone else than it is when someone else does it to you.

Now do not take this as me supporting him or thinking him fine in how he is acting. Far from it actually. But again, is this not what so many of you seem to think is perfectly acceptable when you do it or when women do it?

i am so sorry that your friend is going through this... as to why? well, funny but for the same reasons that so numerous of you females act and do the exact same thing i would have to say... it is all about a person wanting what they want and not caring about the vows they took and not caring about what is right, the commitments they made or so on... basically, selfishness is how i term it...

and to be honest with you, i have a hard time being but so sympathetic to your friend, especially with all the feminism, women rights, politicaly correctness and so on that is so previlent in our society today... just think about it for a moment and you shall have to concede my point... your only problem with any of this is:
1... it is your friend
2... a female is now dealing with the same thing they so often cause or bring about...

a lot of us have been continually warning the rest of you that this is the kind of stuff you should learn to expect and that you really cannot be but so mad when what you advocate and support suddenly turns and burns your ***... for things are no less wrong when you do it to someone else than it is when someone else does it to you...

now do not take this as me supporting him or thinking him fine in how he is acting... far from it actually... but again, is this not what so numerous of you seem to think is perfectly acceptable when you do it or when women do it?

Maybe hes like going to war or something

Yeah this was just an excuse for leaving because he didn't want to admit the real reason (most likely another woman) he can't claim he's not ready for a relationship when he's been having one for the last 7 years!

He's doing this since he got hit in the head by her.

What you're missing is that the husband has a girlfriend on the side, and him saying he is not "ready for a commitment" is a crock and the excuse he is giving his wife for walking out.

He's not enjoying the fruits of his decision. It happens. This is three years, not weeks, after the wedding. So he was committed... he just found out that he didn't LIKE being married to your friend. Perhaps other options have appeared on the horizon. Or your friend is not fun to be married to. Husband's rarely walk out in the middle of the night if they are in a happy home. Perhaps he had somewhere else to go.

Yes, I suspect you are missing something here. And that your friend knows more than she's willing to share.

Well, good news, there's nothing for you to "get" since it's not your relationship.

If your friend comes to you for advice, just comfort her. Don't attempt to explain the situation because (a) you will never know the full story, (b) she needs to get that info from her husband, not you, and (c) it's none of your business anyway.

All you should say is, "I don't know why bad things happen. It sure sucks though. I will be here for you. I know you're upset and I'm sorry."

Again - don't attempt to rationalize or explain it. When someone is hurting, regardless of the situation (marriage breaking up, miscarriage, infertility, whatever) don't try to come up with answers or explain it. Just offer a shoulder to cry on. That's a good rule of thumb for life in general.

Many men marry for sex, or for financial security, or ta have a "mama" to take care of them. Unfortunately, none of these needs amount to a commitment. Best to find out his motivation before saying "I do" and don't take "I love you, baby"

he fell for someone else and is deeply confused

Possible a new person younger, and leaving is the best gift that unfaithful person should deserve.
Get alimony and move on..........find a good person .