Why does anyone want to get married today?

The divorce rate has been dropping for decades and never reached the often quoted wrong stat of 50%, so well under half of marriages don't end in divorce. The odds are in favor of it lasting.

Sure divorces can be brutal. So can a lot of things in life. Not all divorces are brutal though. The truly horrid ones are actually the exception to the rule. While not 'fun', they're usually just unpleasant and rather sad.

You can never know what the future holds. All you can know is that you love the person you're with and don't want to think about them not being in your life. If both people are mature, responsible, financially stable, and have similar or complementary values, goals, and ambitions then chances are good they can make it work.

If being part of a family with a lot of divorces causes you not to want to marry, then don't marry. No big deal. There's no rule that says you need to. It's not mandatory and you're not less of a person if you skip that life event.

You're right, if you're just dating and you decide to end it, you can pretty much just walk away. No commitment, no legal hassle (unless the couple bought assets together). A divorce often requires lawyers (not always), but typically ends with marital assets and debt divided. It doesn't usually include one spouse paying another spouse part of their income (that was the norm long ago, but not so much today). It's still not a fun situation and both people often feel it didn't turn out the way they wanted. Like most things in life, marriage is a gamble. For people who make wise choices in who they marry, it can be well worth the risk. ☺

Yet my grandparents, my parents, all my aunts and uncles, 12 out of 14 cousins and 5 of 5 siblings in my family either have all been wed to their first spouse for over 3 decades or were wed to their first spouse until their death. Eleven of 15 nieces and nephews with their first spouse and reproducing and great great grandkids growing up in stable married two parent homes.

So, though I was in no hurry myself to partake, my fear of marriage had to do with it's real foreverness. People didn't break up. So I've tried both; one shacking up for 5 years, one married for 30. Getting married helps it to stay together, you're right. It gets messier to back out. Which is sorta the point to publicly declaring your fidelity, love, empathy, loyalty and friendship in front of everyone you invite and anyone who shows up... your word is held account. If it were easy, vows would not have been put in place all those thousands years ago. That "you can just leave them" approach need not apply.

I can't answer for today. We were married about 30 years ago, but even at that time, the divorce rate was 50%.

Marriage is a contract to take care of things (specifically children) if there is a divorce. There are religious reasons for many people also. In my case, I'm pagan and too old to have more children, so I've been happily unmarried to the same guy for 21 years.

i have been divorced once. why do u say divorce is horrible? no it is not. u live together while u love each other,.u stop loving each other u split. what is so horrible in that? now i am second time very happily married. we moved in together because we couldn't live without each other and we got married later because of legal and financial matters - it is easier to be married than cohabitate

All that you say is correct. Its just a piece of paper, but its a piece of paper that legitimizes children, just as it did when your were born and your parents were married. And some of us see it as a lifelong commitment both to each other and the family we create. While divorce is all over the place it isn't like that everywhere else. This is a great question to ask your own family too. There is also religious reasons, but that probably doesn't interest you either.

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Sure, you can be with someone and not be married (Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell) but I also think that marriage requires work that some people aren't willing or ready to do. Divorce is an easy way out of situations in my opinion and that's the reason why celebrities can marry for a month or two and get divorced but the hard work comes with compromise, communication and mutual respect.

People fall madly in love, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long. Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc.

When a person finds that special someone -- they want them without any doubt whatsoever ... then marriage pops up - and it happens. However - not all people marry because of love ... but when a person IS deeply in love they usually want marriage for life.