I'm having a hard time with my moms anxiety. What can I do?
2017-03-01 10:25 pm
I keep trying to tell myself she does everything for me and the least I can do is be there for her. However, I have limits. I still live at home (about to go off to college this fall) and I'm around it a lot. I do listen and try to help but sometimes I'm just not in the mood to deal with it (like this morning). She is going to quit real estate (she was talking about it before her anxiety so wasn't a rash decision) and she has a few clients left. All she complains about is having to go show and such and that irks me because everyone has to do what they don't want to do (however, I'm pretty sure she is depressed too so I feel bad I feel that way but can't help it). She also went through this deal with our city and police which did help trigger her anxiety. It was a bad thing because they discriminated against her and retaliated. However, it's a trigger and when she is anxious, all she does is talk about it. It's been a year or long since the city thing and we are all so sick of listening to it. She won't let it go. We want her to go see someone but she won't. I'm not sure what to do. Can anyone give advice please?
回答 (5)
2017-03-01 10:42 pm
Her emotions are HER responsibility, not yours.
The police et.al had every right to react to her actions. They weren't unfairly discriminating against anything.
You need to focus your energies on you; not your mom's triggers. SHE'S responsible for managing her triggers.
NO ONE ELSE.
She.clearly isn't going to therapy or her therapist isn't good for her and she needs a new one.
We're ALL responsible for our actions. Letting your mom off the hook bc she has an anxiety disorder would be unfair to everyone else.
If she relies on you managing her triggers, she's being unfair to YOU.
The police et.al had every right to react to her actions. They weren't unfairly discriminating against anything.
You need to focus your energies on you; not your mom's triggers. SHE'S responsible for managing her triggers.
NO ONE ELSE.
She.clearly isn't going to therapy or her therapist isn't good for her and she needs a new one.
We're ALL responsible for our actions. Letting your mom off the hook bc she has an anxiety disorder would be unfair to everyone else.
If she relies on you managing her triggers, she's being unfair to YOU.
2017-03-01 10:46 pm
Wow, this must be hard on you. I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. The best thing for her to do is to see a therapist. Since she won't see one, you may have to give her an ultimatum. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but just in case you don't: It may be best that you tell her that if she continues to refuse to get help, that once you go to college, you will not continue to be around her as often, because her self-neglect is taking a toll on you. Please do not feel bad for how you feel. You are human, and your feelings matter, too. Being around someone like this can be draining, and it can even cause another person to have anxiety rub off on them. My father (now deceased because of alcohol) used to be so paranoid. His paranoia rubbed off onto me, and I suffered because of it. I was later diagnosed with severe OCD, panic disorder, anxiety, and depression. I suffered horribly from age 8-15. My childhood was 50% panic and misery, all because he refused to get help.
Your mother may be too scared to get help. I wasn't honest with my psychologist(s) until I had the worst panic attack of my life at age 15. I had a panic attack so horrible, that I fainted for about 3 seconds. Once I came to, I felt completely numb and miserable. I finally got so fed up with feeling scared, and I decided to tell them the truth about why I felt so much anxiety. I was later diagnosed with having Depersonalization Disorder (the numb feeling and feeling detached from the world). It was only temporary, because once I finally told my psychologist what was wrong, she sent me to a Psychiatrist who gave me a mental health exam. He prescribed me with Lexapro, and within a week, the miserable numbness feeling and panic faded.
You may need to sit your mom down and say something like, "Mom, aren't you tired of feeling this way? I know someone who felt this way, who finally got help, and now they feel amazing. I want that for you. But if you can't agree to get help, then I can't be around you any longer. It's taking it's toll on me."
Your mother may be too scared to get help. I wasn't honest with my psychologist(s) until I had the worst panic attack of my life at age 15. I had a panic attack so horrible, that I fainted for about 3 seconds. Once I came to, I felt completely numb and miserable. I finally got so fed up with feeling scared, and I decided to tell them the truth about why I felt so much anxiety. I was later diagnosed with having Depersonalization Disorder (the numb feeling and feeling detached from the world). It was only temporary, because once I finally told my psychologist what was wrong, she sent me to a Psychiatrist who gave me a mental health exam. He prescribed me with Lexapro, and within a week, the miserable numbness feeling and panic faded.
You may need to sit your mom down and say something like, "Mom, aren't you tired of feeling this way? I know someone who felt this way, who finally got help, and now they feel amazing. I want that for you. But if you can't agree to get help, then I can't be around you any longer. It's taking it's toll on me."
2017-03-01 10:34 pm
Have a serious heart to heart with her about how she s being and try, justly, to give her your advice, letting her know that you just want to help her because you love her. And possibly using the please, try to do this for me after your advice. Maybe talk to ur siblings first and decide the best way to talk 2 her. Do it on a day where she seems to be in a better mood and have a clear head.
Good luck.
Good luck.
2017-03-02 8:56 am
She might be going thru menopause which messes up a woman's hormones and emotions. Encourage her to see a dr; there are good meds for anxiety and whatever else she has.
2017-03-01 11:20 pm
STOP trying to help.
JUST LISTEN, absorb it like a sponge, but IGNORE IT.
JUST LISTEN, absorb it like a sponge, but IGNORE IT.
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