I caught my friend eating my hemorrhoids?

So I was at my friends house yesterday, and we were just having a good time. I have a problem with hemorrhoids, and I take my hemorrhoid cream with me pretty much every where. So we were just watching some TV, smoking a blunt, and then I felt my hemorrhoid rub against the inside of my anus. I had to excuse myself immediately. I went into the bathroom, and spread my hemorrhoid cream on the itchy lump. It felt like heaven. After a few hours, the hemorrhoid still hurt super bad. I excused myself again. I took a giant shite in the toilet and the hemorrhoid just got worse. I took his x-acto knife from his toolbox, and sliced the hemorrhoid clean off. I decided to keep my prized possession, as I was proud of my acts. I put it into a ziploc baggy, but I accidentally left it on the ground in the bathroom. Later, my friend went into the bathroom. He was in there for a while, so I decided to knock on the door. I asked him if he was feeling alright, but when I opened the door, there he was! Eating my grimey hemorrhoid, straight out of the bag! He had poop smeared on the walls, and he was acting rabid. He was still nibbling on the hemorrhoid, when he ran out of the bathroom, screaming like a banshee. I screamed in shock as I ran. Later, I decided to slice off one of my other hemorrhoids, and taste it. I dabbed some hemorrhoid cream onto the hemorrhoid to make it taste better. I also made sure to add a little salt. It was pretty good. Do I have a problem? Thanks.