How do you deal with the loss of a cat and having had to put it down?

2017-01-25 9:42 am
Her name was Penny. She was a beautiful, gorgeous little tabby. One day, I took her to the vet to get a checkup. They called me immediately (I had dropped her off) and explained that she had FIV (kitty AIDS) and leukemia. The vet told me that chemotherapy and the like would only prolong her death. She told me the best option to end her suffering was to put her to sleep. I chose to. Now, 2 days later, I am still crying. I can't stop replaying her death in my head. I was stroking her and and holding her paw as the vet gave her the sedative. She is being sent to a private company who cremates pets and then releases their ashes. I know it ended her suffering-the vet said she would be in severe pain by early Feb or in a week. But now I can't forgive myself for not trying harder to keep her alive. I miss her sleeping next to me on my bed. My friends don't see it as a huge deal, but I feel thoroughly depressed. I cry whenever I think of her. Are there any good methods to deal with that kind of loss? And the guilt? Please let me know. Thank you-
Alex

回答 (5)

2017-01-25 10:16 am
She was FINE till you took her to the vets from what I understand?

The test for FIV is far too inaccurate to give a solid diagnosis on that, the level of false positives is very high (the company admits to 20% but one study found up to 60% false positives). This would be the Elisa blood test, which they do right there at the vets. The Western Blot test is generally sent out and that's a bit more accurate, but even that can be giving a false positive too many times. That said -- FIV does not kill cats very often, the cats can live with the disease and have no issues if fed good food and are kept healthy and indoors. Two of my FIV cats lived up to 15 years without issue with FIV and none of them spread it to our other two cats, it won't be spread unless the cat bites and draws blood, up to several times not just once.

If any vet recommends euthenasia on FIV, get a different vet. Enough research has been done on the disease since it was discoverd in 1985 that NO vet should be saying automatic put to sleep. Cats with FIV die 'with' it, not generally 'from' it.

The FeLV - feline leukemia - is another story. However they do have several years of life ahead of them before showing signs. Yes, it is fatal, but you KNOW when it's advanced that far. You wait till that point and then make a decision. I'm not sure why your vet recommended immediate putting down. If the cat was acting fine, eating, showing no discomfort, there was no need to make a decision so fast!

There are FeLV and FIV forums over on YahooGroups, all the owners there have cats with the issue and could have advised you. Any vet that would not give me the option of making my own mind up about health care for the pets I have is not a vet I want. I want to know the options, the REASONS behind the options, and then do my own research on it so I don't make a spur of the moment choice.

I'm sorry for your cat being pts, I dislike HOW it was pushed on you though.
2017-01-25 9:48 am
The guilt...of prolonging her suffering? Sorry, but deep down you know you made the right choice. If you had kept her alive, it would have been for YOU and YOU only. Keeping her alive when she was going to be in pain and suffering would have been far worse.

You made the best decision. I know it doesn't feel like it now and one of the hardest things about having pets is making THAT call; ending their lives for them. But you have to get it through your head that they, not unlike humans, go through excruciating pain and cannot simply end it when they choose. We can make that call, and it's a welcome blessing to them. She loves you, forgives you, and is lapping up all the milk she can in kitty heaven right now.

Feel shitty, feel bad, feel emotional. I'm not going to deny that it sucks royally losing a friend and companion. But you made the absolute best decision here and in time, you will come to realize that.
2017-01-25 9:48 am
I know just how you feel. I lost the most incredible cat in the world a couple years go. He used to insist on sleeping under the covers with me.

The thing is, pets don't last as long as we do. So over a lifetime you'll have many of them. You have the pleasure of knowing Penny had a great life, and you'll remember her forever. But you can get another cat and you'll end up loving it just as much.

Nothing helps the sadness but time. Over the weeks and months and years you'll remember her and the pleasure of the memories eventually grows bigger than the pain of the loss. A new cat, perhaps an adorable little kitten, won't replace Penny but would fill some of the empty space in your heart. And especially for kids.
2017-01-27 7:45 pm
There are times when a cat has to be put down - when it is in obvious agony. FIV is not a reason to put a cat down. The leukemia would eventually take the cats life but it would be questionable how much suffering would occur in the end stages. Cats have a high tolerance to pain but they can suffer without any outward signs of pain too. Maybe euthanasia would be helpful if the cat was in pain and had no way out of its misery. I prefer to let my cats pass on here at home - unless the cat shows signs of extreme pain and agony. Then it would be merciful to put the cat down and out of its pain and agony. It replaces those with peacefulness. And then he or she can rest in peace. I don t know what else to say but maybe accept the passing and that it was a peaceful one. Sure; a cats life is irreverent but so also is its passing in peace. You may have saved your cat from any suffering.
2017-01-25 3:38 pm
By never letting a cat free roam again if you get one. Cats kept indoors don't end up with diseases like that. I have a cat that will be TWENTY ONE in May!


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