Why do some step parents try to play the role of an actual parent?
2017-01-22 9:06 pm
For example telling you what to do or disciplining you as opposed to leaving it to the bio parent. Trying to change things from the way they once were especially if it was a system held by the original parent. And let's not forget the whole call me mom or dad or think of me as your mom or dad situation. I could maybe see if it's a really young child but the step parents I'm referring to usually do this with older children. If someone thinks of their stepparent as they're real parent then that's just fine but I feel as though stepchildren should have a choice in the matter of whether they feel that their stepparent is a real parent and it should not be forced on them.
回答 (2)
2017-01-22 10:45 pm
What should a child who was adopted call the people who adopted them?
ALL families are different. When a couple has children, then they divorce, the person they remarry ARE your mom/dad.
Just because they didn't create you doesn't mean they shouldn't be held in the same respect. It's not always easy to call the new spouse mom/dad - no matter the age of the child - some will take to it easier than others (even ADULT children, living on their own, often call mom's new husband "Dad" or dad's new wife "Mom"), because they understand family dynamics. Some won't just because they don't feel comfortable with the new spouse (be it the person's personality or because they're young and resent the person and still hold onto that dream of mom and dad getting back together).
Even with an established married couple, not all couple agree on punishments, how many/which chores a child should do, etc. However, if the couple DID agree to certain punishments/chores and more, they should talk to their new spouse about how they discipline and other things dealing with the child and come to an agreement.
Also, as kids age, they do different things. Even if such things have been agreed upon, what happens when that child does something he or she has never done before and the step-parent is the only one home? Married, remarried or otherwise, NO parent should EVER have to use the line "Wait until your father gets home"...it's a cop out. Parents NEED to be tough so children will learn right from wrong.
The point is that, even if their punishment styles differ, they should at least be consistent in their punishments. Biological, step or otherwise...if one parent catches a child sneaking out, maybe hat parent will ground them for 2 days....the other parent may ground them for a week - EACH time. You know what to expect....you know what your punishment will be if caught, which means, you *should* know what's going to happen. If either parent is inconsistent (grounding for 2 days one time, 2 weeks another, a day the 3rd time, etc.) the child doesn't know what to expect and gets confused. What makes the same violation worthy of grounding those 2 days once, but 2 weeks the second time, yet only a day the third time? THAT makes no sense.
ALL families are different. When a couple has children, then they divorce, the person they remarry ARE your mom/dad.
Just because they didn't create you doesn't mean they shouldn't be held in the same respect. It's not always easy to call the new spouse mom/dad - no matter the age of the child - some will take to it easier than others (even ADULT children, living on their own, often call mom's new husband "Dad" or dad's new wife "Mom"), because they understand family dynamics. Some won't just because they don't feel comfortable with the new spouse (be it the person's personality or because they're young and resent the person and still hold onto that dream of mom and dad getting back together).
Even with an established married couple, not all couple agree on punishments, how many/which chores a child should do, etc. However, if the couple DID agree to certain punishments/chores and more, they should talk to their new spouse about how they discipline and other things dealing with the child and come to an agreement.
Also, as kids age, they do different things. Even if such things have been agreed upon, what happens when that child does something he or she has never done before and the step-parent is the only one home? Married, remarried or otherwise, NO parent should EVER have to use the line "Wait until your father gets home"...it's a cop out. Parents NEED to be tough so children will learn right from wrong.
The point is that, even if their punishment styles differ, they should at least be consistent in their punishments. Biological, step or otherwise...if one parent catches a child sneaking out, maybe hat parent will ground them for 2 days....the other parent may ground them for a week - EACH time. You know what to expect....you know what your punishment will be if caught, which means, you *should* know what's going to happen. If either parent is inconsistent (grounding for 2 days one time, 2 weeks another, a day the 3rd time, etc.) the child doesn't know what to expect and gets confused. What makes the same violation worthy of grounding those 2 days once, but 2 weeks the second time, yet only a day the third time? THAT makes no sense.
2017-01-22 9:29 pm
they are trying to give you advice from their experience
收錄日期: 2021-04-24 00:11:28
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