do you think it's reasonable for your parents to not allow you to sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend even though you're a legal adult?
2017-01-17 10:29 am
i don't think it makes sense at all, my parents said it's somehow disrespectful but when i asked for a logical reason they couldn't give me one. we're both adults and should be allowed to sleep in the same bed, especially considering i've stayed with him for weeks at a time before at his house and obviously slept in the same bed as him. i don't see how sleeping in the same bed is even a big deal, i can have sex with him without sleeping in the same bed as him anyways, which i am allowed to since i am a adult and can do what i want with my own body. but what do you think?
回答 (43)
2017-01-18 10:37 pm
If you're living in your parents' house, then you are obligated to follow THEIR RULES, not your own. Doesn't matter if you are an adult. You don't own the house, so therefore you don't get to decide what the rules are. As for whether you should be sleeping with your boyfriend, that's a whole different matter. Clearly, your parents come from a generation when such behavior was considered to be immoral and wrong if the couple weren't married. There's not going to be a whole lot you can do to change your parents' viewpoint on this subject, because their attitude towards it was formed long before you were ever born. It's reflection of how they themselves were raised, and the world that THEY grew up in. When they were kids and teenagers growing up, "good" girls didn't sleep with men unless they were married to that man. Your parents probably came of age in a time when teen pregnancy was considered to be a real tragedy for all involved, but most especially for the girl. They were undoubtedly taught that premarital sex was something to be avoided, and that it was even shameful. Of course, attitudes have changed since then, but your parents' memories of what they were taught have not.
My suggestion to you would be to keep your sex life as discreet as possible if you want to continue to live with or around your parents. And be smart- don't have sex with your BF while you're in their house, period. There's no point to getting them mad and causing them to drive a wedge between you and your BF, which is what they will do if you keep sleeping with him while you're in their house. Respect their moral values if you want them to respect YOU and your BF.
My suggestion to you would be to keep your sex life as discreet as possible if you want to continue to live with or around your parents. And be smart- don't have sex with your BF while you're in their house, period. There's no point to getting them mad and causing them to drive a wedge between you and your BF, which is what they will do if you keep sleeping with him while you're in their house. Respect their moral values if you want them to respect YOU and your BF.
2017-01-18 5:51 am
Your post doesn't sound like an adult. IF your parents do not believe that people should have sex or sleep in the same bed before marriage, they have every right to expect you to respect their moral values when you visit. If you don't want to act like a rational and respectful adult, you and your boyfriend are welcome to rent a hotel room or refuse to visit. No one is asking you to agree with your parents' position, merely to respect it by sleeping separately and not sneaking around to have sex in their house.
This isn't about the reality that you are having sex and sleeping together. It is about not flaunting that in your parents' home.
This isn't about the reality that you are having sex and sleeping together. It is about not flaunting that in your parents' home.
2017-01-19 10:16 am
If your parents are uncomfortable with the idea of you two adults sharing a bed in their home you really have two options: You can respect their wishes, or you can stay somewhere else. It really comes down to the fact that you two are probably not married (I'm guessing) and some parents do not want to "allow" that situation under their roof. They can be the sweetest people and even be accepting of your partner, but when it comes down to it: It makes them feel uneasy. Afterall, they are your parents so it isn't such a stretch to believe that they might feel weird about it. Like I said, you can give them the edge here and respect their conscience or you can rent a hotel room, stay with other friends, or don't sleep over.
2017-01-18 1:29 am
Yes. Regardless of your age, you are still a child to your parents. No legal age will change that fact. You could be 50 years old and you are still your parent's child. And most parents do not enable their children to have sex. Getting married is usually the only exception.
Your parents just aren't as sexually liberated as you. I imagine that isn't your only difference either. And the funny part is that when you become a parent too, you will gain a great deal of empathy for your parents on this subject. The thought of your own daughter having sex in the next room is not something I want to experience.
Your parents just aren't as sexually liberated as you. I imagine that isn't your only difference either. And the funny part is that when you become a parent too, you will gain a great deal of empathy for your parents on this subject. The thought of your own daughter having sex in the next room is not something I want to experience.
2017-01-19 3:31 pm
They can't control what happens at his house, they can only control what happens at their house. At their house, you do not share a bed. It's as simple as that. If you don't like these rules, you find somewhere else to live.
The fact that you keep shouting about being a "legal adult" suggests that you turned 18 today, and makes you sound like a bratty child throwing a tantrum.
The fact that you keep shouting about being a "legal adult" suggests that you turned 18 today, and makes you sound like a bratty child throwing a tantrum.
2017-01-17 10:31 am
You live with your parents? If so then ya, it's disrespectful and just weird. I could NEVER have my wife (girlfriend at the time) sleep in my bed when I lived with my parents. It just doesn't feel right. Its awkward.
2017-01-18 8:09 am
Wait, where do you live?
With them? Then it's kinda like their rules at that point, and leans more to "I don't want this man in my house" rather than "I don't want you sleeping with this man" you kinda get me?
If you don't live with them then...I mean eh. It's up to you. They're your parents so maybe you feel like you should still respect that or you feel like you're a legal adult so you can disregard it?
But if you are living with them and you are bringing the person to your bed, under their house then I'm sorry but its their rule then
With them? Then it's kinda like their rules at that point, and leans more to "I don't want this man in my house" rather than "I don't want you sleeping with this man" you kinda get me?
If you don't live with them then...I mean eh. It's up to you. They're your parents so maybe you feel like you should still respect that or you feel like you're a legal adult so you can disregard it?
But if you are living with them and you are bringing the person to your bed, under their house then I'm sorry but its their rule then
2017-01-17 1:38 pm
Okay well i've been living away from my parent's house for like 4 years now and i just started sleeping in the same bed as my fiance literally weeks ago, i think if you still live with them you have to listen to them
2017-01-18 8:49 am
Are you living with them? If so, you have to understand that they are responsible for your housing, and therefore they have the right to put down rules. besides, you use the fact that you are a legal adult as leverage to sleep in the same room as your boyfriend, which is reasonable, but also consider that since you are a legal adult, you should probably find independent housing.
2017-01-17 9:49 pm
Their house, their rules. When you're at your own house or your boyfriend's house, feel free to sleep wherever you want.
2017-01-17 11:43 am
If you're still in high school, yes, it's reasonable. If you're in college and still living under their roof, then they still get to dictate who comes and goes in their house. If they don't want your boyfriend staying at their house overnight, they don't have to let him.
2017-01-18 2:37 am
If you really are an adult you would accept their rules. . .Or go rent a hotel room for yourselves. Quit making teeny bopper problems, pushing your parents rules and values.
Their house that they pay for. . .their rules should be respected. No more logic required of adult people.
It is a matter of respect.
Their house that they pay for. . .their rules should be respected. No more logic required of adult people.
It is a matter of respect.
2017-01-20 9:08 am
Not at all, especially because your parents can't seem to give you a straight, LOGICAL answer.
But on the flip side, it's THEIR house, so THEIR rules apply. Especially if you're still living with them
But on the flip side, it's THEIR house, so THEIR rules apply. Especially if you're still living with them
2017-01-17 12:39 pm
Your bed is in their house, correct? The house that they pay for? Sorry, their rules go.
2017-01-17 11:16 am
Their house, their rules.
Don't like it, move out and then you get to make the rules for your own house.
Don't like it, move out and then you get to make the rules for your own house.
2017-01-20 2:47 pm
If you as an adult and live under your parent's roof, then it is by their house rules regardless what you do with him elsewhere. You may not agree but they have personal reasons. In your own place you can do as you please.
2017-01-19 9:54 am
It's very simple, their housectheir rules. I've dealt with this rule as well. Go get a motel if it bothers you. Don't argue with the folks it is disrespectful of you.
2017-01-18 6:14 am
Its they house if you don't like it leave simple
2017-01-18 4:38 am
Their house, their rules.
2017-01-25 3:50 am
It really comes down to the fact that you two are probably not married (I'm guessing) and some parents do not want to "allow" that situation under their roof. They can be the sweetest people and even be accepting of your partner, but when it comes down to it: It makes them feel uneasy. Afterall, they are your parents so it isn't such a stretch to believe that they might feel weird about it. Like I said
2017-01-24 2:57 pm
You're an adult, it's none of their business.
2017-01-24 12:09 am
If you live with them, move somewhere else. Their house, their rules.
2017-01-25 3:10 am
If you don't see how sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend in your parents house is disrespectful then you are NOT an adult yet...it may say so on your ID but maturity wise...not yet...not even close lol.
2017-01-29 3:31 pm
You might be a legal adult and be allowed to do whatever you want with your own body when you're at your boyfriend's house. But if your parents object, then you can't sleep with your boyfriend and do whatever you want to do in THEIR house! THEIR house; THEIR rules!
If you want to sleep with your boyfriend in your parents' house, then marry him, and your parents won't object to you two sleeping together. As it is, they do not want their unmarried daughter sleeping with a man who is just her "boyfriend" under THEIR roof.
If you want to sleep with your boyfriend in your parents' house, then marry him, and your parents won't object to you two sleeping together. As it is, they do not want their unmarried daughter sleeping with a man who is just her "boyfriend" under THEIR roof.
2017-01-23 11:25 am
well, as an adult, you need to get your own place where you can make the rules. It's not uncommon for parents to not want to know the details of their children's sex lives. Move out.
2017-01-22 11:04 am
You should respect their rules, won't kill you hornytoad
2017-01-21 8:17 am
I think if you live in their house, you have to follow their rules, regardless of what you've been doing at his house.
2017-01-21 1:17 am
If your living in your parents house...it is their house their rules even if your an "adult"
2017-01-19 12:23 pm
it's their house, their rules. It's up to you be the ADULT you want to be, and respect their decision.
2017-01-19 11:40 am
if you disagree with that then move out
2017-01-19 10:41 am
My parents were the same. They know you are having sex, but it is their house, you need to respect that
2017-01-19 5:41 am
You say you are an adult, then be an adult and get your place so you can shack up and ply house. Otherwise abide by the rules and be happy about it.
2017-01-18 8:35 pm
Their house, their rules.
2017-01-18 1:52 pm
If you are living under their roof then you should obey their rules. No matter how ridiculous they may sound. But if you have your own home you should let them kno that you should be able to do what you please in your home.
2017-01-18 8:38 am
It is not about being logical.. it is about respect..
This situation makes your parents feel uncomfortable. they should not feel unconfortable in their own home.
if you are staying at your parents house you need to respect thier wishes period.
This situation makes your parents feel uncomfortable. they should not feel unconfortable in their own home.
if you are staying at your parents house you need to respect thier wishes period.
2017-01-18 8:17 am
As long as you are living in THEIR house, you are living by THEIR rules so yes, it is completely reasonable.
2017-02-01 2:30 pm
it's very simple, their housectheir rules... i've dealt with this rule as well... go get a motel if it bothers you... don't argue with the folks it is disrespectful of you...
2017-01-25 9:30 am
If your in your own house and over the age of 18 do whatever the **** you want. If your under there roof you should listen to them.
2017-01-24 12:50 pm
Move out be an independent woman or get a ring
2017-01-21 5:30 am
THEIR house - THEIR rules! This will stay this way until you two get married.
2017-01-19 10:19 pm
You sound very immature. If you are still financially dependent on your parents, you can defy their rules, but they can also refuse to support you, since you are a legal adult. If you're visiting their home, you have to respect their rules, as you would, I hope, anyone whose home you were a guest in.
2017-01-24 6:02 pm
Biblically they're doing a great job. And as their child you should love & honor your parents. God commands you to obey your parents while being under their care. Grow up & stop whining.
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