Should I bother to contact my old friend?
2016-12-22 2:52 am
I fell out with my old best friend a couple of months ago. It's silly really but I was constantly being forgotten about in the group and always having to make the effort to contact them first. They weren't replying to my texts but meeting up without me from time to time. So basically my old friend invited me to her wedding as a guest for the evening do but the other two girls in our group were both to be bridesmaids and go to the whole day. The bridesmaids didn't even bother including me for her hen do yet she txt me saying she wanted me to go. Again I was forgotten about and they ignored me and made plans without me so I just didn't bother going to the wedding at all. I'm quite quiet and think they just think I'm boring so leave me out. I dont have many other friends though so shall I contact the bride now some time has passed or forget them all? I still want to be friends but I feel it's such hard work as I can't ever get hold of them.
回答 (5)
2016-12-22 2:59 am
You don't sound terribly confident when you talk about yourself compared to other people, even if you say it is what they think of you. The first thing you have to do is realize that you are worth being invited, involved and treated as a friend. Not the last friend in line, not the forgotten one - a friend. How people treat you is a good indicator of how much they value you, but it isn't if you have a low self image.
Self pity didn't get anybody much. Go out and be you and find the best people that stick to that. Forget most of the rest of them because it isn't any good spending your time with people you don't enjoy being around.
In your twenties, you make friends and think they'll last forever. Some do. Then as you get older, you find it easier to not waste much time with people who aren't going to become close or stay close. You put all that time into the ones that you really want to be around and who want you around, too.
Self pity didn't get anybody much. Go out and be you and find the best people that stick to that. Forget most of the rest of them because it isn't any good spending your time with people you don't enjoy being around.
In your twenties, you make friends and think they'll last forever. Some do. Then as you get older, you find it easier to not waste much time with people who aren't going to become close or stay close. You put all that time into the ones that you really want to be around and who want you around, too.
2016-12-22 3:18 am
Should you? Yes to apologize for being so self centered. Your friend invited you to share the most important day of her life, but because she wasn't able to focus on you, resulting in you not being included in bridesmaid activities you blew her off after already accepting the invitation? What a crappy friend you are. If you aren't considered a best friend and the center of attention, you won't be a friend at all?
There is a reason you don't have many friends. Its because friendship requires effort, that you aren't willing to give. I am willing to bet you relied on that old best friend for pretty much every social opportunity you ever had. That is a lot of pressure to put on one person and all because you weren't willing to put more effort developing more relationships with people in the group on a one on one basis. Friendship takes constant effort and if you aren't willing to put forth any, you will lose each and every friend you still claim and live a very lonely life. Its your choice to make.
There is a reason you don't have many friends. Its because friendship requires effort, that you aren't willing to give. I am willing to bet you relied on that old best friend for pretty much every social opportunity you ever had. That is a lot of pressure to put on one person and all because you weren't willing to put more effort developing more relationships with people in the group on a one on one basis. Friendship takes constant effort and if you aren't willing to put forth any, you will lose each and every friend you still claim and live a very lonely life. Its your choice to make.
2016-12-22 3:11 am
I think you need to take the hint and accept that they don't want to be friends with you. It sounds like you're lonely and desperate so you decided to attach yourself to a group of acquaintances who don't want you in their group of friends. Make an effort to find NEW friends.
2016-12-22 3:00 am
y not
2016-12-22 2:53 am
that depends. Is she hot?
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