In need of advice ASAP (15 y/o Female)?

My brother and I started discussing openly to the family about how we felt about out childhood and how growing up felt for us (all negative but that's another story) it basically ended in my brother saying that we didn't want my dad to visit my mum anymore (they broke up ages ago and lied about it and has a gf. I also didn't want my brother to mention it) my dad didn't take it very well and has been ignoring the family for a while, I can't say I blame him, what we said was horrible, but there is a long story behind it... I love him so much and I have been trying to get him on the phone for days. He picked up the last time I tried and I asked if we could do something together and talk about what went on if he wanted to. He sounded zombie like and he said he didn't want to talk and that he was busy thinking about what we said which was still ok to me. I told him that I loved him and he just kinda ruled it out of the conversation and it ended awkwardly. We used to be so happy and now he can't even talk to me because i let him down. It was my fault I shouldn't have let my brother mention anything and I don't know what to do. I want to kill myself so badly, I am sure my dad is depressed and I rely on him so much, I didn't realise that at the time. I need advice so badly I am literally covered in tears and snot from this.

Sarah.