What do I do spiritually?

It is alarming that a 13 year old is having your kind of problems. Not so long ago, the problems 13 year olds would have revolved around where they could cycle to with their pals, and whether their pocket money would stretch to an extra ice cream. Okay, I speak of my own childhood, and that was more than half a century ago.

Your question shows your confusion. You say, "My only goal is to be saved" and you worry that what you do will affect your relationship with God. The problem is this - you only enter into a relationship with God after He has liberated you from your slavery to sin. You will know it when this happens, but it does not seem as if it has happened yet, so you are being torn in two opposing directions. Aged 13, that is torture.

First thing, I suggest you get Christian help for your addiction to masturbation because that will only get worse the older you get. There's a couple of links below for that. Second, I suggest you learn what the Bible says about how Christ alone can deliver you from slavery to your sin. Until He sets you free, nothing you or anybody else tries to do will make any lasting difference. Only by putting faith (trust) in what Jesus did can you be turned around and saved. That faith is not just saying a prayer and wishing for Jesus to liberate you. It goes much deeper than that. But you will have to learn about Jesus, from the Bible, to see the way ahead. There is an enemy of souls roaming about seeking to deceive everyone, and you are already being deceived by him. You need to flee to Christ and to come under His protection. Please use the links as they open up God's word, the Bible, to you on these vital subjects. Make that your starting point, spiritually. AiH

Hit me up sometime. We'll chat.

Having faith in God through Jesus Christ is the only requirement for being saved. (John 3:16 KJV)

Every person sins and needs God's mercy and grace to forgive when we repent. (1 John 1:5-10 KJV) When we repent, He blots that repented for sin out and He will not bring it up again. (Ezekiel 18:22 KJV) We remember so, hopefully, we learn from the experience. We need to repent each time we realize we have sinned and each time He blots them out. Jesus Christ said to forgive 490 times a day if someone repents. (Matthew 18:22 KJV) That's a lot.

Your works make up the fine linen that you wear in Heaven. Revelation 19:8 KJV And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.

God made us to be attracted and attractive to the opposite sex. That is not a sin to notice and appreciate the attractiveness that God has made. Lust is when a person is unable to see beyond the flesh body and thinks everyone is only for sex for themselves. That's a self gratifying way of viewing everyone else. God made everyone's souls and souls happen to be in temporary flesh bodies right now. And God made those flesh bodies to be appealing to each other. Nothing wrong with that. But, friendships and love is a deeper relationship than just thinking someone is attractive.

I think some churches and people go a bit far when they say people can't even notice, appreciate or thank God for making the opposite sex to be appealing. That's natural. That's the way He made us.

There is nothing written about masturbating/checking out your own equipment. Some people twist the verses about Onan to try to make the case, but that was about God protecting the genealogy of Jesus Christ who was born through that lineage of the tribes of Judah and Levi, all the way to Adam and Eve. Sin would be if this becomes such an obsession it interferes with your relationship with God and other people.

Jesus Christ gave you power over all the power of the enemy in His Name. Luke 10:17-19 KJV Use it. If you feel you have an evil spirit trying to get you down, command them to go back where they came from in Jesus' Name.

God is not looking to send people to hell. God paid a very great price through Jesus Christ to save people from hell. He's not even happy that the wicked go to hell instead of getting right and not being wicked.

Ezekiel 18:23 KJV Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord God: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?

2 Peter 3:9 KJV The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

Given you are stating affiliation with some bible-following religion I suggest you start with the New Testament and seek guidance for what you have difficulty understanding from your pastor or other qualified individuals.

“My only goal is to be saved”

Do you have something specific to be saved from that you know about? . Are you attracted to animals? If not, you are on an acceptable path of gaining maturity.