What's the best way to discuss issues without it turning into an argument?

I think the most perplexing thing here is not his texting or where he lives. It is your inability to talk to this guy that I find odd. Assuming that you swap spit with him: you cannot even ask him some simple questions? Right there, that is a very bad sign. And for you to be afraid an argument would break out over something so simple is alarming.

Why not try to find out where he lives on your own? This way, you can go there and at least see what it is all about.

You can use the internet, right? Why not google search him? I can type my own name and town to find out lots about myself. Like, where I live. That I am a registered voter. My name was mentioned in an obituary and that shows up on the internet. That obituary alone has all sorts of information in it about me. Like, who my siblings and children are, for example. I was surprised to find the ruling of a civil law suit I was involved in, on the internet. All that for everyone who is looking for it to see. So, get on the internet and do some simple searching...it's free. Type his name and town or his name and state he lives in.

Or, do some elementary detective work: The next time he is over, sneak a peak at his automobile registration. When he is in the shower, check his wallet for his license where his address will be listed.

But, if you don't want to do any of that, then just communicate with him. When you see him, during a nice calm moment, ask him "What is the reason why you have never invited me to your house?" That is how you begin that conversation. You are asking a direct question, leaving zero room for him to wiggle out of it.

About text girl: Save that conversation for another time, not when you ask about where he lives. It is horribly rude of him to be texting another girl when he is with you. I have zero clue who she is to him, but I can understand that it is quite annoying. She could be a former lover or just a good friend. But, either way, it bothers you. I would invite her over so you can meet her in person, with him present, of course. If they have something going on, you will not be able to miss it when they are together. If she is unable to come visit, then at least ask him to put his phone down when you two are together because he can contact her on his time, not yours. If he balks, then you either must accept this girl friend or if not, then you get to walk away from the relationship. It really is that simple.

You have only been seeing him for 8 Sundays. So it is not like you have had this long romance. But, what you have learned about him in this short time is that he is secretive about where he lives and he has a female friend who he is in constant contact. People date for a reason. That reason is to get to know one another and you are not liking what you are learning about him. This trial dating period is not going too well for you. And you are having difficulties communicating with him about two major topics. There comes a time when one has to figure out that their relationship is not working and I think this may be one of those times.

You are dating a guy who you know has a girlfriend in another state, and you don't even know where he lives?? Step back and analyze what is wrong with this picture.

1. Does his girlfriend know about you/ how honest is he being with her?
2. You don't even know where he lives??? The dude could be married for all you know and taking you and girlfriend for a ride. He could be a hoarder. Who knows. There is some reason he doesn't want you to know anything about his private life and none of it sounds good.
3. You are being used by this jack@ss as a short term diversion. Dump him and find someone who isn't attached.

oh honey--this NEEDS to be an argument! lol....why are you worried about HIS discomfort? he has no problem with your comfort level...texting his other gf in front of you is hateful--and he is playing with you. not ever being at his house? that's probably because he's married! stop worried about how to make this all nicey-nicey. this guy doesn't care a flip about you---tell him off--tell him off loudly and strongly and drop him like a rock and find a decent guy!

he probably doesnt invite you over cause he has his girlfriend there

What do you mean he texts his girlfriend? Aren't you his gitlfriend? He's not into you, not the way you want him to be anyway. Get rid of him..you're making a big mistake if you don't. Sorry.

"I'm not arguing with you; I'm telling you." It takes two people to "argue." Your boundaries are what they are. Your boundaries are set by YOU, not by a committee of two.

Do not set up a meeting. Do not attempt to discuss your feelings. Just tell him the rules: "No more dragging Diane along when we're together. You're free to not take me out any more, but you're not free to bring other women along on our dates. I was hoping I wouldn't have to say anything, but there it is."

And end the discussion there. If he wants to "discuss," you just keep saying "I don't want to talk about this anymore right now." If necessary, escalate to "You're free to leave, but if you want to stay then drop it for now."

I assume that your home is where you two go to make out? Tell him he's not welcome in your home until you're welcome in his. Meet him at the restaurant, at the movie, whatever, but no more open house until he opens his house too. If he lives with his mom or in a half way house or in a bachelor pig sty, that's part of who he is and not a part to hide from you., In the future, it's wise to avoid inviting a gentleman to your home until you've confirmed that he is who he says he is, works where he says he works, and lives where he says he lives.

Open and honest communication is a wise starting point, and ideally have this somewhere neutral so you both feel relaxed and comfortable. In a friendly, assertive manner share with him your thoughts/feelings about these issues, emphasize you are not judging nor criticizing him, and suggest you reset the boundaries between you so there is more understanding between you.