I left my abusive ex after 7 years together. I did everything I knew how to do but I had to leave for the sake of my daughter and for my own self-esteem. He begged me over and over again to come back and promised to change but I had heard that over and over again with the same result. I couldn't open myself up to be hurt again. Especially when I felt God call me out of that marriage and put me in a place where I was able to heal with my child. Then, a few weeks ago, my ex husband and I had a really great conversation. And he really appeared to have changed. He expressed that he still loved me and was still attracted to me. I had begun to feel those feelings too. The only thing is that he's in a relationship now. So I hate him for even saying any of that at all because now, I have these feelings that I have no idea what to do with. I asked him to consider reconciliation but he doesn't want to hurt the woman he's with. So now, I'm at a loss. I thought we could repair our relationship for our child. He asked to spend family time together with our daughter and me and I agreed and it felt right on so many levels and even he said he felt tempted but again, he didn't want to hurt his new relationship. So now, I feel sad. I was fine before. It was easier to be mad at him. Now, I feel like I'm being sucked back into a void. And on some levels, I know that I shouldn't want to go back. There was real abuse. He is still a 32 year old man living with his mom and deep. Am I just lonely?
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That's what I was thinking too. I'm like, am I a masochist to participate in this family time with him? Why would he say those things to me but then, say we can just be friends. Why tell me he's tempted by me and that he has sexual thoughts about me but then, say we have to refrain from talking to each other as more than friends. It's just beyond me. I keep feeling like he's playing with my head but when I'm around him, he seems nice and normal and like he really is trying to be a good guy.