Do you feel really guilty for how you treated your parents in youth?

Growing up, I had a lot of issues and PDD which caused me to throw a lot of tantrums. That increased when I got to around 12/13. My loving but alcoholic mom and I fought a lot and sometimes it would get physical(slapping, hair-pulling, biting, threatening with a knife, etc)

I feel HORRIBLE for how I treated her back then(I'm 22 now). Especially because I can never apologize to her now, she died in 2008. Is it common for children to do things as bad as this like physical fighting with parents? I just like to know I'm not alone and wasn't a horrible child unwarranted.