Family vacation after splitting up?
2016-07-30 1:06 pm
Is this a smart thing to do? I want to give my daughter the closest thing to normal of an upbringing as possible. Her mom and I were never married and she wasnt exactly planned, we split up but have been good with each other throughout. She turns 6 in late August and I want to take her on vacation somewhere to celebrate. Id like to do it as a "family". Her mom and I are still friends and if we can make something like this a regular thing I'dike that. Is it a good idea?
回答 (8)
2016-07-30 9:58 pm
It is always a good idea for children to see their parents being kind to one another. She might hope you two will get back together, but that is likely something she always hopes anyway, so going on a vacation wouldn't increase that.
Stay in separate rooms, and treat each other as friends, and have fun. : )
Stay in separate rooms, and treat each other as friends, and have fun. : )
2016-07-30 5:58 pm
As long as she's able to understand it's just a vacation and you will still live in separate homes, it is fine. Otherwise you may give her a false sense of hope that this means you're a family again. She's only 6 so I think you're expecting a lot from her to understand it's only a vacation.
My ex and I are on very good terms. I'm remarried with additional kids, but my ex actually spends most holiday's with us and we hold joint birthday parties and other events for the kids. It's easier on the kids because then they don't have to feel like they need to pick and choose which house to go to and well a court doesn't need to intervene. He has been on vacation with us, along with another daughter he has (who lives with him 100% of the time). He and my current husband get along well too.
My husband is okay with the way we do things, if he wasn't we might not do things the way we do. Part of it may be due to my ex's other daughter, she doesn't have a mom in her life so she craves positive female attention and I give it to her. Eventually you and your ex will move on to other relationships where your new significant other is not okay with it.
My ex and I are on very good terms. I'm remarried with additional kids, but my ex actually spends most holiday's with us and we hold joint birthday parties and other events for the kids. It's easier on the kids because then they don't have to feel like they need to pick and choose which house to go to and well a court doesn't need to intervene. He has been on vacation with us, along with another daughter he has (who lives with him 100% of the time). He and my current husband get along well too.
My husband is okay with the way we do things, if he wasn't we might not do things the way we do. Part of it may be due to my ex's other daughter, she doesn't have a mom in her life so she craves positive female attention and I give it to her. Eventually you and your ex will move on to other relationships where your new significant other is not okay with it.
2016-07-30 2:45 pm
If her mother is for it then it's a smart thing to do. Don't try to persuade her if she has any
reservations. You and she need to be in 100% agreement.
About making it a regular thing, wait to see how the first one goes.
reservations. You and she need to be in 100% agreement.
About making it a regular thing, wait to see how the first one goes.
2016-07-30 2:44 pm
As long as you get along.
2016-07-30 1:38 pm
Yes. Very good
2016-07-30 2:06 pm
I would not call it a family vacation because the little girl will likely want you to stay with her when the vacation ends. Six is old enough to understand that a family lives together.
I'd just say that I am taking her and her mom on a vacation and leave it at that. It's just a word to us, but words have power to a child; and, at six, they can be very literally minded.
I'd just say that I am taking her and her mom on a vacation and leave it at that. It's just a word to us, but words have power to a child; and, at six, they can be very literally minded.
2016-07-30 1:14 pm
I think you can do it. Is it a good idea? As long as the kid understand the situation I think it is ok. But do not try to confuse her that you and her mother is going to get back together. It will just bring more frustration later in life for her.
2016-07-30 1:09 pm
It would be fine.
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